What if...? Part 5/5 (?)

Rate: PG
Disclaimer: Just borrowing.
Summary: In an alternate universe, maybe things would be different. 

Word count: 1784

Thanks to: Sueli for beta-ing.

Nora nearly dropped the bowl she had been holding, Justin's drink came out of his nose and Sarah hit her foot on the counter from the surprise.

"What?" Kitty asks. Her voice is thin, not believing what she's hearing.

"I'm gay." Kevin repeats.

"But... Molly?" Tommy asks.

"Yeah, I've spoken with her. We broke up." Kevin says.

After a two hour long pep talk from Scotty, Kevin had finally found the courage to go to Nora's. He'd collected all his siblings and broken the news to the second they had all gathered around the counter in the kitchen.

"I know this is a shock to all of you, but to me it's so liberating." Kevin confesses.

"Oh honey!" Nora says, hurrying over to hug her son. When they let go Sarah hugs Kevin.

"I'm so happy for you." She whispers in his ear.

Justin hits his shoulder and smiles, and Kevin knows that it's enough. That's what he does, his sign of acceptance. Kevin smiles in reply.

"Yeah, I'm happy for you too, man." Tommy says, his voice still a bit strained from the shock. "It doesn't change anything." He continues, Kevin not sure if he's trying to convince himself or Kevin.

"But you're... an adult. How did you not know before?" Kitty asks, staring at him from across the counter.

"I don't know. Saul didn't know until he was in his 50's." Kevin replies casually. He's not surprised that Kitty is the last one to swallow this, she needs facts and information before she can make a decision, and he respects her for that.

"But he wasn't engaged to a woman."

"For five hours, Kits." Kevin says. "It's not that simple. It's not just about knowing for yourself, if you don't feel that there is a possibility for you to be yourself, you will suppress yourself without even knowing it."

"I shouldn't have asked." Kitty says. She walks around the counter and puts her arms around him. "You are always my little brother."

"This was easier than I thought." Kevin says, knowing that it isn't over yet. It's one thing for them to know, it's a whole other one when his decision to come out becomes reality - when he brings someone home or would be in a relationship with another man.


The dinner proceeds without any fuzz, with Sarah giving Kevin all the hugs she can and Tommy still looking a bit distant. They all promise not to spread the information to everyone they know, but Kevin knows that such a promise just means they will delay it a day or two.

When returning back to Scotty's apartment it feels strange to approach the door. The hallway is dark and he has to push a button to light the few lamps along the corridor. The one right outside Scotty's door blinks a few times before deciding not to light up at all. In darkness Kevin knocks on the door, quietly as if to apologize for his action.

Scotty opens and lets him in, apparently anxious to hear how it all went.

"It was just a tad too easy." Kevin explains when they sit down with each a sandwich and some tea. "Like I had expected someone to tell me it's just a phase or saying something like ‘but you're so tall'. This was over in minutes."

"Not all families send you to the door." Scotty says, quietly. Kevin looks at him, as Scotty holds his cup with both hands. He looks into it and takes a sip. He can't see Scotty's eyes, but he notices the tension and suddenly he realizes that he knows nothing about Scotty's family situation.

"Is that why you live here?" Kevin ask.

"I grew up in Mississippi. I came out when I was 17 and moved to New York when I was 18. That was how long it lasted. When I..." Scotty's voice trails out, as if he suddenly doesn't know if she wants to tell the rest of the story.

Kevin meets his eyes and with a compassionate smile urges him to continue.

"When I was 19 I decided to go back to visit and when I knocked on the door someone else opened. They had moved to Arizona and hadn't even told me." Scotty says.

"I moved here shortly after and later resumed the contact. I speak with my dad once a month now, but rarely with my mum." Scotty says. "It's okay, though. I know that's it and I'm not wasting my energy crying or being angry at them. It doesn't help."

"I didn't know." Kevin says, sincerely sad. "I've just been going on about myself without every asking about you."

"I don't talk about it a lot." Scotty says, moving over from the chair he's sitting on to sit next to Scotty on the couch. "Don't worry about it. I don't." He gives Kevin a hesitant kiss and then pulls away.

"It's so strange to kiss you from everyone else I've ever kissed." Kevin says, his head still tilted from replying to the kiss. "I never knew it would... tingle as much as it does." At the same time as they words come out he also notices how stupid it sounds, and starts laughing.

Scotty puts his hand on Kevin's neck and leans in a bit.

"I like you too." He says, giving Kevin another kiss. Kevin replies instantly, moving closer to Scotty. His hands travel over Scotty's lap, resting on his hips. Scotty moves a bit, leaning over Kevin to lie down over him on the couch.

Their kisses get deeper and their hands move over never explored skin. Scotty kisses his way down to Kevin's neck, licking his collar bone and kissing his way back up to Kevin's ear. He sucks gently on the earlobe and moves against Kevin, feeling how aroused they both have gotten.

Suddenly Kevin withdraws his hands from Scotty's back.

"I'm sorry..." He says. Scotty stops the kissing and moves off.

"Don't be." He says.

"No, it's just, I want to, but it's too soon. For us and for me."

"I know. I don't want to pressure you, and honestly, if someone had asked me if I was willing to start something with a guy in the middle of his coming out process, I would have said no, but I really like you." Scotty says, stroking Kevin's cheek. "I can't help but." He leans forward and presses a small kiss on Kevin's cheek. "I don't mind waiting."

"I don't want to hold you back." Kevin says. "But I'm happy if what you said now is true, because I want it to be you that's waiting for me."

They glance at each other in embarrassment over their cheesy confirmations, but are also glad that tensions are relieving between them. They both break into laughter and finish with a kiss.

"I also think it would be good for me to live with mom for a while, to give us some space. Until I can move back to my loft. Or find a new one, for that matter."

Scotty agrees with Kevin's reasoning, happily volunteering to help apartment hunting if needed.


Epilogue - six months later

Kevin rushes into his mother's kitchen, barely noticing the lovely smell of newly baked cinnamon buns that's originating from the oven.

"Hi mom, uncle Saul said you needed this." Kevin says, kissing his mother on the cheek and putting a canvas bag filled with a clay pot in it.

"He and Milo says it was the best duck they had ever eaten. And Scotty liked it a lot too." Kevin says almost out of breath and turns around to rush out of the kitchen again.

"Hold it!" Nora calls after him. "You can't just tease me, how did your double date dinner go? Other than the food." Nora asks, continuing to stir something in a bowl.

"It was great, we had a good time. Scotty and Milo are both very into cooking so they spent the entire night swapping recipes, leaving me and Saul to comment on the wine." Kevin explains with a smile.

Nora smiles too. She reaches under a towel and takes out a cinnamon bun and hands it to Kevin.

"Eat this." She puts some more in a plastic box and puts a lid on it. "Bring these to Scotty and send him my love. Are you seeing him today?"

"Yes, I'm already late to meet him, we're going to look at an apartment downtown." Kevin says and munches on his bun.

"You're moving in together?" Nora asks startled.

"No, of course not." Kevin says, wrinkling his eyebrows. "He'll just help me decide on getting this or another place we looked at yesterday. That one has a fireplace but this one has hardwood floors."

Nora glances up at her son from under her fringe. She never knew he was gay, but the talk about interior decorating should have tipped her off years ago. There is a loud thud from outside and Kevin looks out.

"What was that?" He asks, walking over to the kitchen.

"Nothing. I'm just fixing some stuff in the garden."

Kevin sees a big machine removing a tree with all its roots being drawn from the ground.

"Some stuff?" Kevin asks.

"Yes, just some minor demolition.  I'm putting in a pool. Feel free to use it when it's done." Nora says, opening the stove to take out another batch of cinnamon buns.

"I also hope Saul will want to use it." Nora says, focusing on the buns. "He and Milo should use this house more, otherwise it will just fall apart." She breaks a bun in half and inspects the dough.

"You're putting in a pool? That's minor demolition?" Kevin asks. He glances at the construction workers outside. "You're removing the fountain?" He asks quietly.

"Yes. That thing has been staring me in the eye ever since your father died." Nora says, her voice determined.

Kevin will never forget Kitty's birthday where William had taken Paige for a walk in the garden and then fallen down from a heart attack, hitting his head on the fountain and dying. The autopsy had shown that he died from the head injury but they never knew if he had died from the heart attack if he hadn't hit his head. 

Kevin shakes his head to get rid of the thought that had been spinning in his head for months. "I have to leave mom, Scotty is waiting." Kevin points at the door, not sure his mother is even noticing his presence anymore.

She hears the door close behind him and calls: "Bye honey!" Not looking up from her cinnamon bun project.

This is probably the last part. My head has been otherwise occupied lately, so I have a hard time seeing loose ends. If there are further questions or SL developments you'd like to see, tell me (you know - here, at the B&S-TV forum or via olego.fics@gmail.com).


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