What if...? Part 5/5 (?)

Rate: PG
Disclaimer: Just borrowing.
Summary: In an alternate universe, maybe things would be different. 

Word count: 1784

Thanks to: Sueli for beta-ing.

Nora nearly dropped the bowl she had been holding, Justin's drink came out of his nose and Sarah hit her foot on the counter from the surprise.

"What?" Kitty asks. Her voice is thin, not believing what she's hearing.

"I'm gay." Kevin repeats.

"But... Molly?" Tommy asks.

"Yeah, I've spoken with her. We broke up." Kevin says.

After a two hour long pep talk from Scotty, Kevin had finally found the courage to go to Nora's. He'd collected all his siblings and broken the news to the second they had all gathered around the counter in the kitchen.

"I know this is a shock to all of you, but to me it's so liberating." Kevin confesses.

"Oh honey!" Nora says, hurrying over to hug her son. When they let go Sarah hugs Kevin.

"I'm so happy for you." She whispers in his ear.

Justin hits his shoulder and smiles, and Kevin knows that it's enough. That's what he does, his sign of acceptance. Kevin smiles in reply.

"Yeah, I'm happy for you too, man." Tommy says, his voice still a bit strained from the shock. "It doesn't change anything." He continues, Kevin not sure if he's trying to convince himself or Kevin.

"But you're... an adult. How did you not know before?" Kitty asks, staring at him from across the counter.

"I don't know. Saul didn't know until he was in his 50's." Kevin replies casually. He's not surprised that Kitty is the last one to swallow this, she needs facts and information before she can make a decision, and he respects her for that.

"But he wasn't engaged to a woman."

"For five hours, Kits." Kevin says. "It's not that simple. It's not just about knowing for yourself, if you don't feel that there is a possibility for you to be yourself, you will suppress yourself without even knowing it."

"I shouldn't have asked." Kitty says. She walks around the counter and puts her arms around him. "You are always my little brother."

"This was easier than I thought." Kevin says, knowing that it isn't over yet. It's one thing for them to know, it's a whole other one when his decision to come out becomes reality - when he brings someone home or would be in a relationship with another man.


The dinner proceeds without any fuzz, with Sarah giving Kevin all the hugs she can and Tommy still looking a bit distant. They all promise not to spread the information to everyone they know, but Kevin knows that such a promise just means they will delay it a day or two.

When returning back to Scotty's apartment it feels strange to approach the door. The hallway is dark and he has to push a button to light the few lamps along the corridor. The one right outside Scotty's door blinks a few times before deciding not to light up at all. In darkness Kevin knocks on the door, quietly as if to apologize for his action.

Scotty opens and lets him in, apparently anxious to hear how it all went.

"It was just a tad too easy." Kevin explains when they sit down with each a sandwich and some tea. "Like I had expected someone to tell me it's just a phase or saying something like ‘but you're so tall'. This was over in minutes."

"Not all families send you to the door." Scotty says, quietly. Kevin looks at him, as Scotty holds his cup with both hands. He looks into it and takes a sip. He can't see Scotty's eyes, but he notices the tension and suddenly he realizes that he knows nothing about Scotty's family situation.

"Is that why you live here?" Kevin ask.

"I grew up in Mississippi. I came out when I was 17 and moved to New York when I was 18. That was how long it lasted. When I..." Scotty's voice trails out, as if he suddenly doesn't know if she wants to tell the rest of the story.

Kevin meets his eyes and with a compassionate smile urges him to continue.

"When I was 19 I decided to go back to visit and when I knocked on the door someone else opened. They had moved to Arizona and hadn't even told me." Scotty says.

"I moved here shortly after and later resumed the contact. I speak with my dad once a month now, but rarely with my mum." Scotty says. "It's okay, though. I know that's it and I'm not wasting my energy crying or being angry at them. It doesn't help."

"I didn't know." Kevin says, sincerely sad. "I've just been going on about myself without every asking about you."

"I don't talk about it a lot." Scotty says, moving over from the chair he's sitting on to sit next to Scotty on the couch. "Don't worry about it. I don't." He gives Kevin a hesitant kiss and then pulls away.

"It's so strange to kiss you from everyone else I've ever kissed." Kevin says, his head still tilted from replying to the kiss. "I never knew it would... tingle as much as it does." At the same time as they words come out he also notices how stupid it sounds, and starts laughing.

Scotty puts his hand on Kevin's neck and leans in a bit.

"I like you too." He says, giving Kevin another kiss. Kevin replies instantly, moving closer to Scotty. His hands travel over Scotty's lap, resting on his hips. Scotty moves a bit, leaning over Kevin to lie down over him on the couch.

Their kisses get deeper and their hands move over never explored skin. Scotty kisses his way down to Kevin's neck, licking his collar bone and kissing his way back up to Kevin's ear. He sucks gently on the earlobe and moves against Kevin, feeling how aroused they both have gotten.

Suddenly Kevin withdraws his hands from Scotty's back.

"I'm sorry..." He says. Scotty stops the kissing and moves off.

"Don't be." He says.

"No, it's just, I want to, but it's too soon. For us and for me."

"I know. I don't want to pressure you, and honestly, if someone had asked me if I was willing to start something with a guy in the middle of his coming out process, I would have said no, but I really like you." Scotty says, stroking Kevin's cheek. "I can't help but." He leans forward and presses a small kiss on Kevin's cheek. "I don't mind waiting."

"I don't want to hold you back." Kevin says. "But I'm happy if what you said now is true, because I want it to be you that's waiting for me."

They glance at each other in embarrassment over their cheesy confirmations, but are also glad that tensions are relieving between them. They both break into laughter and finish with a kiss.

"I also think it would be good for me to live with mom for a while, to give us some space. Until I can move back to my loft. Or find a new one, for that matter."

Scotty agrees with Kevin's reasoning, happily volunteering to help apartment hunting if needed.


Epilogue - six months later

Kevin rushes into his mother's kitchen, barely noticing the lovely smell of newly baked cinnamon buns that's originating from the oven.

"Hi mom, uncle Saul said you needed this." Kevin says, kissing his mother on the cheek and putting a canvas bag filled with a clay pot in it.

"He and Milo says it was the best duck they had ever eaten. And Scotty liked it a lot too." Kevin says almost out of breath and turns around to rush out of the kitchen again.

"Hold it!" Nora calls after him. "You can't just tease me, how did your double date dinner go? Other than the food." Nora asks, continuing to stir something in a bowl.

"It was great, we had a good time. Scotty and Milo are both very into cooking so they spent the entire night swapping recipes, leaving me and Saul to comment on the wine." Kevin explains with a smile.

Nora smiles too. She reaches under a towel and takes out a cinnamon bun and hands it to Kevin.

"Eat this." She puts some more in a plastic box and puts a lid on it. "Bring these to Scotty and send him my love. Are you seeing him today?"

"Yes, I'm already late to meet him, we're going to look at an apartment downtown." Kevin says and munches on his bun.

"You're moving in together?" Nora asks startled.

"No, of course not." Kevin says, wrinkling his eyebrows. "He'll just help me decide on getting this or another place we looked at yesterday. That one has a fireplace but this one has hardwood floors."

Nora glances up at her son from under her fringe. She never knew he was gay, but the talk about interior decorating should have tipped her off years ago. There is a loud thud from outside and Kevin looks out.

"What was that?" He asks, walking over to the kitchen.

"Nothing. I'm just fixing some stuff in the garden."

Kevin sees a big machine removing a tree with all its roots being drawn from the ground.

"Some stuff?" Kevin asks.

"Yes, just some minor demolition.  I'm putting in a pool. Feel free to use it when it's done." Nora says, opening the stove to take out another batch of cinnamon buns.

"I also hope Saul will want to use it." Nora says, focusing on the buns. "He and Milo should use this house more, otherwise it will just fall apart." She breaks a bun in half and inspects the dough.

"You're putting in a pool? That's minor demolition?" Kevin asks. He glances at the construction workers outside. "You're removing the fountain?" He asks quietly.

"Yes. That thing has been staring me in the eye ever since your father died." Nora says, her voice determined.

Kevin will never forget Kitty's birthday where William had taken Paige for a walk in the garden and then fallen down from a heart attack, hitting his head on the fountain and dying. The autopsy had shown that he died from the head injury but they never knew if he had died from the heart attack if he hadn't hit his head. 

Kevin shakes his head to get rid of the thought that had been spinning in his head for months. "I have to leave mom, Scotty is waiting." Kevin points at the door, not sure his mother is even noticing his presence anymore.

She hears the door close behind him and calls: "Bye honey!" Not looking up from her cinnamon bun project.

This is probably the last part. My head has been otherwise occupied lately, so I have a hard time seeing loose ends. If there are further questions or SL developments you'd like to see, tell me (you know - here, at the B&S-TV forum or via olego.fics@gmail.com).

Short and random: Kiss

Rate: PG-13
Disclaimer: Just borrowing.
Summary: No, sorry, no summary.

Word count: 200

Scotty watches Kevin sleep. His breathing is deep and peaceful. With the lines in his face gone, he looks much less cynical. He makes a small noise and moves a bit, and if he were to open his eyes he would look right at Scotty.

The alarm clock tells Scotty that Kevin has to be out of bed in ten minutes. He also knows that Kevin will be a bit grumpy from waking up and having to leave the warm bed with his naked husband under the duvet.

Scotty leans over and gives Kevin a small kiss. Kevin wakes up but doesn't open his eyes. With a scratchy voice he says:

"That's how I want to be woken up every day."

"I'll do my best." Scotty replies. He cuddles up closer to Kevin and buries his nose in Kevin's neck.

"Can't we just stay here all day?" He asks.

"I think you'd get bored within the hour."

"No, I would never be bored just being with you." Scotty says, knowing it's not true. As wonderful as this is, Kevin is right. But for the next eight minutes, he just wants to lay here and listen to their breaths' joint rhythm.

What if...? Part 4/?

Rate: PG
Disclaimer: Just borrowing.
Summary: In an alternate universe, maybe things would be different. 

Word count: 1187

Thanks to: Sueli for beta-ing. 

Scotty hands Kevin a cup of hot coffee. Kevin accepts it with a shy smile.

"So, tell me everything." Scotty says, sitting down on the couch. Kevin stares at him, hugging the hot cup between his hands before deciding to sit down next to Scotty.

"I don't know where to start." He says.

"Have you spoken with your family?" Scotty asks. He figures that if he gets Kevin started he will rant on until he's said everything.

"No, I've been avoiding them. I should get a medal for that, they're like heat seeking missiles, all after me.

"So where have you been?"

"Everywhere. I've been driving around, sitting on benches, walking on the beach. Everywhere to be alone and think." Kevin takes a sip of coffee. "And I met with Molly just now."

Scotty doesn't ask. He doesn't want to ask a question that will lead Kevin to change his perception of what happened. He waits for a while before Kevin continues.

"She said she kind of saw it coming. That she knew that we wouldn't actually get married, but when I had asked she had been to happy and thought she had been wrong about me."

"She said that she hates me for doing this to her and that she's happy for me for finally..." Kevin's voice trails off. He looks at Scotty for a second, but turns away to avoid eye contact. "I told her there was someone else."

"There is?" Scotty asks, his voice sounding just as surprised as he feels.

"No." Kevin quietly says. "Or maybe."

"I just know that she's not the one." Kevin states. "I've spent a lot of time thinking." Kevin sips from his coffee again. It's still too hot, but that doesn't seem to matter. He swallows and puts the cup down. "Scotty, I'm..." Kevin exhales and closes his eyes.

"This is so hard. I'm 33 years old and I can't even say it." Kevin's voice is back to fragile and thin. Scotty moves closer, extending his arm to supportively stroke Kevin's back. Kevin looks up again and turns to Scotty. "Scotty, I'm gay."

Scotty smiles and hugs Kevin.

"I said it." Kevin says, his voice a mix between sobbing and laughing.

"Yes, you did." Scotty laughs back. "How do you feel?"

"Awful. Relieved." Kevin says, hugging Scotty tighter. "Scared."

"It would be strange if you weren't." Scotty says. "But it's okay. Everyone is scared, gay or straight, just scared of different things." He lets go of Kevin a bit, and Kevin reluctantly lets him go.

"Yeah I guess. Now there is so much I need to do. Molly will move out of our apartment, but not for another few weeks until she gets a place of her own, so I'm still homeless. I have to explain all of this to my family and... come out, I guess."

"Sh..." Scotty hushes him. "You don't need to think of that now. You can let all that wait a while and be with yourself."

"And sleep in my car?" Kevin asks.

"Glad to see your sarcasm is back." Scotty replies. "You can sleep here for a while, if you want. It's not roomy, but it's... doable."

Kevin smiles shyly and nods.

"Thank you." He says. "You know, this is all because of you."

"Of me?" Scotty asks, startled over the accusation.

"That first time you were in my office, when you asked if I were gay. That's what started this whole thing."

"The thought hasn't crossed your mind until then?" Scotty asks.

"Not really. When I think about it now, it's obvious. The only sport I've only ever enjoyed is swimming and all girlfriends I've ever had has always told me I'm such a special boyfriend because I like shopping with them."

Scotty laughs and brings Kevin with him.

"I guess I did experiment some i college, but everyone did." Kevin says. "It didn't matter. It was just a kiss."

"Really?" Scotty asks, noticing how his lips form a smile when he speaks.

"Yes. He was really sweet. Danny McCullough. We only hung out because his sister Abigail and my sister Kitty were friends, we didn't have anything in common." 

"Well, then, better late than never. Congrats, Kevin. Congrats on your first coming out." Scotty says. "I wish they made books for this, but I think you'll have to settle for finding out yourself."

"I will." Kevin says. "I know I will." He nods.

The room is again silent. Kevin drinks the last of his coffee, frowning at it because it's too cold. Scotty watches Kevin put the cup back down.

"Okay." He says slowly, not sure what to do next.

"Okay." Kevin repeats. He swallows loudly and leans over to Scotty, pressing his lips against Scotty's.

He lets them linger there for just a second, enough to feel Scotty vaguely responding, or at least not pulling away. They part slowly, feeling each other's breath against their mouths.

"Sorry." Kevin says. "I shouldn't have. I have no right to come here and demand you being some kind of mentor for me and then to do this..."

"Kevin, stop talking." Scotty interrupts.

Scotty leans back over, cups Kevin's face in his hands and kisses his mouth again. Slow, tender and careful. Their lips move against each other for a while before parting again.

"Wow." Kevin says when he has regained his breath. "That was definitely better than Danny McCullough."

Scotty laughs and gives Kevin another peck on the mouth.

"It better be." He says.

They spend the evening eating take out pizza and watching Glitter "I know all gays doesn't have to be party animals, but if you don't watch this, you'll slide back to straight in no time." and kissing some more.

They decide to take things very slowly and have time to get used to each other. Kevin calls Nora and lets her know that he is doing well and will see her for lunch tomorrow. He turns off his cell phone after the call, knowing that the entire family will want a word in when they know he's contacted Nora.

"Let me take you out to dinner tomorrow night." Kevin says, stroking a strand of hair away from Scotty's face.

"You really want that? Dinner in the outside world?" Scotty asks rolling his eyes.

"Of course." He kisses Scotty's cheek. "How did you get to be so cute?"

"I was born this way. What's your excuse?" Scotty replies.

"I was probably born this way too. It just took a long time to bloom." Kevin replies, blushing at the compliment. "Again thanks for everything. Being here with you makes it feel like I can actually handle all these things that I need to fix." Kevin says. Scotty merely smiles in reply, forgetting his previous thoughts about just being friends.

The moment Kevin's blue eyes had looked into his he knew he was lost. He knew that he needed to help Kevin through all this, not just for Kevin, but for himself. Kevin's vulnerability in combination with his sweet and strong attitude was way too intriguing to keep at a distance.

One or two more chapters will follow shortly. Please leave me a comment to tell me what you think. :)

What if...? Part 3/?

Rate: PG
Disclaimer: Just borrowing.
Summary: In an alternate universe, maybe things would be different. 

Word count: 984

Thanks to: Sueli och Jenni for beta-ing. 

Scotty wakes up at nine o'clock on a bright Sunday morning. His back is aching because he's spend the last couple of hours sleeping on his couch, leaning against the back support with Kevin leaning against him.

Kevin wakes up at the same time and slowly moves away from Scotty.

"I'm sorry." He quietly says.

"For what?" Scotty asks.

"For barging in to a complete stranger to behave like this." Kevin says. "I really shouldn't have."

Kevin stands up. He takes his jacket from the chair he flung it over yesterday and moves to the front door.

"You don't want breakfast? And an aspirin or two?" Scotty asks, standing up as well.

"I really shouldn't have bothered you. Bye."

Kevin is out of the door so quickly, Scotty is barely awake when it happens. He sits back down, blinking a few times to try and sort out what just happened. Kevin has passed out against his chest last night after having sobbed for over half an hour, his arms around Scotty so tight it seemed like he would never let go. Now he excuses himself to leave. To go where?

Scotty fetches his laptop and turns it on. He makes himself a cup of coffee while waiting for it to turn on, and then he writes an e-mail to Sarah, asking her out for a cup of coffee or a lunch. She replies with a text only an hour later and they make plans for lunch later today.


When finally there with Sarah, working on a Caesar salad opposite of her, it's difficult for Scotty to bring up Kevin for discussion. He asks Sarah what happened with the engagement.

"If I only knew." She says. "Kevin and Molly showed up for dinner last Friday and announced the whole thing, an hour after they have arrived they disappear out into the garden. Then Molly storms into the kitchen, saying the wedding is off and that she needs to leave."

"She left in a cab and Kevin left shortly after. Neither of them pick up their phones. If I know mom right she has already visited their loft to see what is going on. That's all I know." Sarah finishes.

"Wow." Scotty says.

"What do you know?" Sarah asks. Scotty replies with a questioning look.

"You brought it up."

"Yeah." Scotty admits. "Kevin showed up at my door last night, drunk." Scotty tells Sarah what happened, trying to give an objective view of the situation.

"It's just so strange," Scotty says. "The first time I met him I just knew he was gay, and now all this happens. You have a gay uncle, I don't understand why he should suppress those feelings if he has any. Your whole family seem to love your uncle."

"We do." Sarah says. "But Kevin is the good boy. When we were growing up Tommy was the sloppy one who refused to study and Justin was even worse, with his drugs and alcohol and all the women. Kevin went to law school and behaved."

"Because he had to compromise for the others?" Scotty fills in.

"To carry on the family name." Sarah finishes her own salad and puts the wrinkled napkin on top. 

"Sarah?" Scotty asks. "Why didn't you seem surprised when I said I thought Kevin was gay?"

Sarah's eyes meet Scotty's. Her face is blank, as if she's thinking.

"I don't know. I guess I'm not surprised. I haven't thought about it myself, but it wouldn't be that surprising." Sarah says. "Actually, it would make perfect sense."

"How?" Scotty asks.

"Well, he has always had a girlfriend, most of them for short periods, and he's always brought them home after a very short time. They have all been very nice and sweet girls and he's always been sure to get them approved by our dad. But he's never seemed that much in love." Sarah says. "I have to go now, I'm picking Paige up from a slumber party."

They rise from the table, ready to leave.

"I'll try and call mom, to see if she knows more. I‘ll let you know if I hear anything."

"Thank you Sarah, for meeting with me. I know I shouldn't butt in on your family matters, but I care about Kevin. There is something about him that reminds me of myself. And I like him." Scotty says.

They part and head their separate directions. Scotty starts his car and starts driving home. The conversation with Sarah echoes in his head. "And I like him." Why did he say that? Will Sarah think he's in love with Kevin? He certainly isn't, even if he wouldn't mind exploring that possibility. Not that it's gonna happen - Scotty has once too many times experienced experimental or newly out guys, and they all have one thing in common - they leave him heart-broken in one way or another.

He likes Kevin because he knows what it's like to be gay, even if Kevin is far away from admitting that or living like that, but he feels some kind of responsibility. That's all it is. The gay family thing, where everyone takes care of each other. Nothing else. He can be a good friend to Kevin if he decides to explore this, but that is all it is.

Scotty parks his car outside his building and heads up the stairs. He walks around the corner to his hallway and outside his door is a small figure, leaning against the wall.

"Kevin?" He asks. Kevin looks up at him, his eyes red and swollen. "Come here." Scotty says, offering his hand to help Kevin stand up.

Kevin comes up and Scotty sees the fear in his eyes. His beautiful blue eyes.

"Do you want coffee?" He asks, fiddling with his keys to open the door.

"And an aspirin or two, if you have any." Kevin says and follows Scotty in.

What if...? Part 2/?

Rate: PG
Disclaimer: Just borrowing.
Summary: In an alternate universe, maybe things would be different. 

Word count: 1102

Thanks to: Sueli och Jenni for beta-ing. 


Kevin is beaming with pride when he watches Molly show the engagement ring to the family. She answers questions about how they will make the wedding and tells everyone that her family is flying in from Seattle next week.


“That’s wonderful!” Nora says. “They can all come over for dinner. Just let me know what night they are free.” The voices blend into cacophony and Kevin suddenly feels dizzy. For several seconds he feels his heart skip a few beats and his breath becoming shallow.


He sees Molly surrounded by his family, all happily chatting about how wonderful it is that they are getting married. Kevin feels his pride disappear and being replaced by fear. It’s Molly for the rest of his life. With his family and with hers. He walks into the kitchen, sees the stools around the counter and sits down.


He hears voices coming from the crowd in the living room and moves into the pantry to avoid them. He leans against the wall and sinks down to the floor, burying his head against his knees.


He hears gentle footsteps across the kitchen and he knows that the person that sinks down opposite of him is his mother.

“Tell me.” She orders in her soft voice.


“I don’t know what to say.” Kevin quietly replies. “Why aren’t I out there celebrating? Why aren’t I opening the champagne we brought?”

“Do you not want to marry her?” Nora asks.

“Of course I do! I love her!” Kevin says. He fiddles with his foot, looking up at his mother.


“I don’t know.” He says. “I can’t imagine my life without her, but at the same time I don’t know how I want to have her in it either. When I saw her there with the ring it all became so real.” He continues.

“Would you rather be friends with her? No marriage, no commitment, no strings attached?” Nora wonders.


“It’s too late.” Kevin says. “This is what I needed to do. Not for me, but for all of us. Everyone knew it was time for us to do this now, you’ve said so yourself.”

“Kevin,” Nora says, taking his hand in hers. “I want you to be happy, and if that means marrying Molly then I want you to. If that means climbing a clock-tower and throwing rocks at people passing by, then so be it.”


“Whatever you do, I want you to want it. If not, I’m not happy.” Nora says. “And it’s never too late, honey. It’s never too late to change your life.” She squeezes Kevin’s hand and smiles at him before getting up. “Go talk to her right now, I’ll distract the family.” 



Scotty wakes up in the middle of the night when someone is pounding on his front door. He swears and manages to get up without hitting himself on anything in the dark apartment.

What?” He shouts and opens the door.


Of all people that could be standing there, Kevin Walker was the last one he would have thought of.

Kevin?” He asks. “What are you doing here?” He lets Kevin in and sends a happy thought to himself for being alone tonight. He can’t walk straight and is obviously not sober. Rather the opposite, actually.


“I’m sorry.” Kevin slurs. “I didn’t know where to go. I remembered your address, so I went here.” He explains and swallows a hiccup. “Did I wake you?”

“It’s over three o’clock, yes you did.” Scotty says. He can’t lie, but he’s already been nice enough to let Kevin in, so why not guilt him a bit?


“Why are you here drunk?” He asks.

“Because I’m homeless.” Kevin says, sitting down on Scotty’s couch. “I was engaged for about five hours and now I’m homeless because my ex-fiancé threw me out.” He announces.

“What? Why? What happened?.” Scotty sympathetically asks, sitting down next to Kevin.


“She was so happy. Sarah helped me pick out a ring, cost me a fortune. They were all so happy. I had barley gotten up from the floor when she and everyone she knows had started planning the ceremony.” Kevin says. He looks tired when he speaks, leaning his head back on the couch.


“Then this thing happened.” Kevin says. “I saw my whole life passing by, and it made me want to cry or scream or just run away. And surprisingly enough, she didn’t think that was good. So now I’m single.”


Scotty looks at the man on his couch. He has no idea what to say or do, still shocked that Kevin would turn up at his door step.

“Why did you come to me? Why not one of your brothers or a friend?” Scotty asks.

“They wouldn’t understand. They are all striving to get married, or they already are.”


Kevin doesn’t want to tell Scotty the truth. The truth that is that whatever Kevin has tried thinking of the last weeks has been interrupted by thoughts about Scotty. That somewhere in his head he knows that Scotty is his savior that will say the magic spell and then everything will be alright. Scotty knows the answer.


“I love Molly, but I can’t see myself marrying her.” Kevin says, and then the room falls in silence. Neither of them speak for several minutes and Scotty starts to wonder if Kevin has passed out from the alcohol.

“Kevin?” He asks.


“Yes?” Come the reply, clearly wide awake.

“Are you gay?” Scotty asks. The room is silent again. Kevin doesn’t reply.

“My uncle is gay.” Kevin says. “He’s one of the most amazing people I know. He’s a brilliant economist, a great man and a wonderful friend. He’s had a partner for several years, Milo.” Kevin speaks in a fragile and monotonous voice.


“He worked with my father for several years.” Kevin continues. “When he came out, my father didn’t speak to him for several months, other than at work. I saw it and it hurt me. I had just started working as a lawyer and Ojai Foods was one of my first clients.” Kevin’s voice becomes more shallow and it sounds like he is about to start crying.


“Kevin…” Scotty says, extending a hand to Kevin’s back. He leans forward to Kevin, stroking the hand over his shoulders. Kevin sobs quietly and then leans over to Scotty, diving into his embrace. He sobs into Scotty’s neck with his arms tightly around Scotty’s waist.


Scotty leans his own head against Kevin’s, gently continuing the stroking as he lets Kevin cry against his shoulder.

“It’ll be alright.” He whispers. “It’s all gonna be alright.”

What if...? Part 1/?

Rate: PG
Disclaimer: Just borrowing.
Summary: In an alternate universe, maybe things would be different. 

Word count: 1069

Thanks to: Sueli och Jenni for beta-ing. 


“Oh my God!” Scotty says, his voice high-pitched and his eyes filled with excitement. “Oh my God, you’re gay!” The hot lawyer in front of him raises his eyebrows and looks puzzled for a few seconds.


“No, I’m not.” He says. “I have a girlfriend.”

The silence falls, the lawyer obviously confused about the alleged homosexuality and Scotty confused about being wrong. He bends his head, wondering if his gaydar is off or if this is a closet case. He decides on the latter.


“Oh.” He says, waving his hand. “Sorry then.” He smiles and leans forward. “Continue.” He proceeds to flirt throughout the rest of the interview, sure to break down Kevin Walker. After 45 minutes of answering questions Scotty Wandell has to admit being defeated.


Mr. Walker is professional and keeps his head cold, not saying or doing anything to prove anything other than his heterosexuality. Scotty is not happy when he leaves. He hates being wrong about these things, and he actually liked this guy. There is nothing better than a challenge, and he could so use that right now, with all that is going on around him.


On his way out he meets Sarah, Kevin’s sister. He compliments her on her shoes and winks at Kevin as he leaves. He has no idea what Sarah and Kevin say about him when he leaves, but of all the things he would have guessed, he never would have been right.


“Didn’t he remind you of uncle Saul?” Sarah asks.

How?” Kevin asks. “He is nothing like Saul. Saul is collected and systematic, this guy is a one man gay pride parade.” Kevin replies. Sarah just shrugs and starts telling Kevin about her dispute with Tommy, but she can’t get over the young man with good taste in shoes. There is just something about him that she wants to know better.




Scotty is called back to the office once more, to be prepped by the lawyer again. He is still a bit in awe of Kevin. Most self-defined straight guys are at least a bit offended when someone believes their gay, but this one doesn’t seem to be. He doesn’t even seem uncomfortable.


Scotty continues his flirting, but soon gives up when there is no result. On his way out he sees a picture frame with Kevin and a young woman, brunette, much too thin and smiling in the sun. They have their arms around each other and the picture oozes love.


“Is this your girlfriend?” He asks, taking the picture from its shelf.

“Yes, it is.” Kevin replies.

“What’s her name?”

“Molly.” Scotty holds back a laughter and puts the picture back.


Mr. Walker’s secretary tells him that his sister is there to meet him, and he says to let her in. Scotty meets Sarah again and this time he makes sure to introduce himself better.

“Scotty, how would you like to come to a party at our mother’s house tonight?”


“Sarah!” Kevin says.

“It’s a pool party, the entire family will be there.” Sarah explains. “What’s your e-mail address?”

Scotty gives her the information and pretends not to see Kevin’s troubled look.

“I’ll see you there.” He says and leaves.




Scotty rings the bell and a woman opens.

“Hi, you must be Scotty.” She says, pulling him into the house. “I’m Nora, Sarah and Kevin’s mother.”

“Nice to meet you.” He says, shaking her hand. “I brought some red velvet cupcakes.” He says and hands them to her.


“That’s so nice of you!” She says. “We’ll serve them with dessert and coffee. This is Molly, Kevin’s girlfriend.” Nora says, waving the young woman over. “This is Scotty, a friend of Kevin’s.” She says, leaving them alone.


“Hello Scotty. I haven’t heard of you…” She says, clearly searching her memory.

“Oh no, we’re not really friends. I’m a witness in one of his cases and Sarah invited me here today.”

“Oh, okay!” She says, smiling at him. “Well, do you want me to introduce you to the rest of the family?”


“Sure.” Scotty says. The woman leads the way out to the back of the house. Scotty is shocked when he sees the amount of people in the back yard. “Wow.” He says. Molly turns to him, sending him a questioning look.

“I didn’t know this family was sole responsible to populating the Earth.”


Molly laughs.

“Yes, five siblings, all with some kind of respective, some with children.” She says, guiding him over to meet Tommy and Julia, Sarah and Joe, Kitty and Jonathan and Justin and Tyler. He politely greets them all and starts to wonder why he is there at all. He chats with them and with Kevin, who explains to him that it’s highly unprofessional of him to befriend a client.


“Good thing I’m just a witness.” Scotty jokes. Molly comes up behind Kevin and slides an arm around his waist, stealing a kiss. “So, tell me. How long have you two been together?”


They look at each other and laugh.

“Two years now.” Kevin says.

“Yes, it’s time to give me grandchildren.” Nora says, when she joins them. “If this one would only get his thumb out of…”

“Thanks mom.” Kevin cuts her off. Molly laughs and blushes. “We know.”


Nora asks Molly for help in the kitchen and the two disappear. As soon as they are out of hearing range, Kevin turns back to Scotty. His smile becomes mischievous and he leans in a bit.

“Want to know a secret?” He asks.


Scotty feels his heart starting to beat faster. Here it comes – what he already knew, right from the beginning. Molly is just a friend – a beard – a pen pal?

“Yes.” He replies.

“I’m going to propose to her this weekend.”


Scotty almost drops his drink, but manages to stay calm – on the outside anyway.

“Really.” He replies, perhaps a bit to dryly. Kevin doesn’t seem to notice though, caught up in his pre-marital bliss. “Well, good luck then.” Scotty says before excusing him.


He spends the rest of the night avoiding Kevin, getting a bad feeling about his whole presence. Scotty’s gaydar has never been off, and Kevin is still a big fat red blinking dot on it, and yet here he is, feeling this soon-to-be-fiancé up in front of his entire family. Isn’t that just great? Scotty thinks and finishes off another drink. 

Short and random: Capture

Rate: PG-13
Disclaimer: Just borrowing.
Summary: Scotty has a camera.

Word count: 200


“I didn’t know you had a camera.” Kevin says, willingly striking a pose as Scotty takes another picture of him.

“A friend gave it to me when she bought a new one.” Scotty says. Kevin is pinned down naked under him, trapped to be the object of Scotty’s photographing.


“You really like this, don’t you?” Scotty asks. Kevin looks semi-insulted for the next picture.

“I like being the center of attention, remember?”


Scotty takes another picture before lowering the camera to give Kevin a kiss. He slides off Kevin and sinks down next to him. He places his head next to Kevin’s and holds the camera to take a picture of both of them.


“Smile!” He says and pushes the release button. “Now let’s kiss.” Scotty says and attacks Kevin’s lips before he has a chance to answer. Kevin lets Scotty’s tongue enter his mouth, offering his own in exchange.


“Now let’s see.” Scotty says, briskly ending their kiss. “These are very good.” He says while browsing. Kevin ‘Mmm’s in agreement, kissing Scotty’s neck rather than looking at the pictures. With a muffled voice against Scotty’s neck he says:

“We should get a real camera. One that makes motion pictures.” 

History repeating

Rate: R, for sexual content.
Disclaimer: Just borrowing.
Summary: One of those family gatherings.

Word count: 891


“Kevin…” Scotty protests. A weak protest, he knows, but a protest none the less. “We can’t do this here.” He feels himself being lowered on the bed Kevin spend most nights in until he was 18 or so.


“Anyone can walk in.” Scotty says.

“I know.” Kevin says with a smile, pulling off Scotty’s shirt to kiss his chest.

“Maybe we should at least lock the door…” Scotty suggests, his voice unstable.

“No, the lock doesn’t work.” Kevin says, gently biting Scotty’s nipple. “Justin broke it once when he played robbery. He was a strange kid.”


“But we should…” Scotty starts, but his voice trailing off into moaning as Kevin unzips his pants pulling them down just a bit.

“Do this?” Kevin suggests between kisses.

“Yes.” Scotty says. “Less talk.” He adds, pushing Kevin’s head down against himself.


Kevin wastes no time, taking Scotty in his mouth and stroking his stomach. Scotty’s hand in his hair urges him to go on. Kevin finishes his work to the noise of Scotty’s muffled moans into a pillow. Kevin kisses his way up over Scotty’s chest, covering Scotty’s body with his own.


“You’re so sweet.” He whispers in Scotty’s ear before stealing a kiss.

“You too.” Scotty whispers back, pulling Kevin down for a longer kiss. Their lips play against each other before allowing their tongues to meet. Scotty’s hands travel up under Kevin’s shirt and they move against each other, feeling their arousals touch with only Kevin’s pants in between.


Then it happens so quickly. There is a short knock on the door before it flings open. Justin follows it, shouting:


Kevin immediately reacts to move away from Scotty, but can’t because Scotty holds him still on top of him.

“Sorry!” Justin says, his face lobster red before shutting the door again.


Kevin stays on top of Scotty, sighing heavily before climbing off.

“Why are you smiling?” He asks.

“Oh come on Kevin, we might as well just do a sex tape and send it to the entire family so we have it over with. It’s just a matter of time before they have all caught us completely naked.” Scotty says, pulling up and zipping his pants.


“You have to see the irony in it. You’re usually good at that.” Scotty says, wrapping his arms around Kevin, giving him a quick kiss. “Now let’s go look Justin up and threaten him with legal matters if he tells.”

“You don’t think it’s too late? The whole family is in the house.” Kevin says.


“That’s the spirit.” Scotty says, taking Kevin’s hand and leading him out the door.




They find Justin alone in the dining room, setting the table.

“I’m so sorry, I swear I didn’t see anything.” He says when he sees them.

“Good,” Kevin says. “If you didn’t see anything then you don’t have anything to tell anyone either, do you?”


Justin looks up at them for the first time and the red blushing comes crawling up from his neck again.

“No.” He says quietly. The three of them look awkwardly at each other in silence for a few moments.


“Hi, why are you so quiet?” Sarah asks when she joins them. “Mom sent me here with these.” She says and gestures at the napkins she is carrying.

“Nothing.” Kevin says. “Need any help?” He asks.

“Yeah, like you would ever fold napkins?” Sarah says to him.


“Here let me help.” Scotty says, taking half the pile from Sarah, skillfully folding and placing them around the table. The room falls in silence again and when the four of them are done with their tasks, they stand up and look at each other.

“What…?” Sarah starts to ask.


“I caught them having sex.” Justin blurts out, pointing at Kevin and Scotty.

“Justin!” Kevin yells. Scotty moans “Oh no…” and Sarah starts laughing.

“We weren’t having sex, Justin.” Kevin defends.


“No? Then why were you half-undressed on your bed with your tongues in each other’s throat?” Justin asks

“Oh, it’s no big deal.” Sarah says, placing a hand on Justin’s back. “We can found a club. Although, I never got to see anything good.”


“Good what?” Nora asks when she enters the room with a big basket of rolls.

“Movie!” Kevin yells. “Sarah wants to see a good movie!”

“Yeah, I haven’t been to a good movie in such a long time.” Sarah says, quickly adapting to the new subject.


“We should go.” Justin nods.

“Really?” Nora asks. “And what would that be? Gay porn?” She places the basket on the table. “And for your information Kevin, the lock on the door to your room was fixed ages ago.


Nora smiles mischievously and leaves for the kitchen, leaving the four in the dining room.

“I can’t believe I just head my mother say ‘gay porn’.” Kevin says.

“I can’t believe I just saw gay porn.” Justin says.

“And I’ve never seen it.” Sarah says, making the rest stare at her. She waves her hand. “Whatever.”


“Well, I’m gonna go…” Scotty says. “and see if that time machine works.” He says, heading for the living room. “And get a glass of wine.” He adds.

“Tell Kitty if you see her!” Sarah calls after him. Kevin shoots her an annoyed look at the remark and Sarah defends herself:

“What, she’s gonna hear about it anyway.” 

Short and random: Exploration

Rate: R
Disclaimer: Just borrowing.
Summary: None needed, really.

Word count: 200


“What’s this scar?” Kevin says, sliding a finger over a mark on Scotty’s shoulder.

“Chopping wood. Axes hate me.” Scotty says, enjoying the feeling of Kevin’s tongue over his shoulder.


“And this?” Kevin asks, gently licking Scotty’s chest.

“Don’t know. Cat scratch?”

“I didn’t know you had a cat.” Kevin says, looking up at his husband.


“We didn’t, but the girl next door did.” Kevin chuckles before returning to kissing and licking the soft skin beneath him. He crawls down and kisses Scotty’s inner thighs, stroking his hips as he works his way down. His hands stroke Scotty’s knees.


“These?” Kevin asks.

“I learned to ride a bike…” Scotty says, his voice trailing out as Kevin moves up again, kissing his way to Scotty’s crotch.

“And this?” Kevin says, his warm breath on Scotty’s skin making Scotty moan loudly.


“There is no scar…” Scotty moans.

“I know.” Kevin says, gently biting the sensitive skin. “I’ll mark it with my love.” He kisses Scotty’s thigh again. “I love your body, I know it so well.”

“Yes, you are my Magellan.” Scotty says, the end of the sentence drowning in the pleased noise he makes when Kevin takes him in his mouth.

Beta wanted

A beta is a person who reads through stories and give their opinions on it - language wise and story wise. I need one mostly for the story part for a story I'm writing now. I have an idea, but not sure how to write it. 

I haven't worked with betas for these stories, so I'm not sure how it will go, but as long as your critisism is constructive, I think we can work well together. 

The story is an alternate universe story, Kevin/Scotty and several chapters. You don't need to be a langauge wiz to be the One here - just someone I can bounce ideas with. Right now it's for this particular story, but if things go well, maybe for other ones too. 

Interested? Leave me a comment here or send a message to me on the B&S-TV forum. Don't forget to leave your e-mail address if it's here, so that I can contact you. Tell me a little about yourself (not your cat's name - things like if you write and why you would think beta sounds fun). 

If you end up betaing my stories I will of course credit you for it. ;)

Now go ahead! 

The present

Rate: R, for sexual innuendos.
Disclaimer: Just borrowing.
Summary: Sarah feels guilty.
Author's comment: Sometimes inspiration comes from the strangest places.

Word count: 1237


Kevin is half asleep in front of the TV when his cell phone rings. He picks it up from the coffee table and answers in a scratchy voice:


“Hi Kev, it’s me.”

“Hi Sarah.”


“I hope I didn’t interrupt anything this time.” She says.

“No, just my afternoon nap. Scotty is still at work.” Kevin replies. He clears his throat. “What’s up?”

“Can I come over? I have a present.” She says. “To both of you. When will Scotty be home?”


“Any minute, I think. What’s the pres…” Kevin is cut off by the tone from Sarah’s hang-up. He mutters something about his sister. He never enjoyed surprises that much, as it meant not being in control. He still hadn’t come over the surprise Sweet 16 party his mother had planned for him.


Only minutes later Scotty comes home, greeting Kevin with a kiss on the lips.

“You’re in a good mood.” Kevin concludes.

“How can I not be? I had a great day at work, I have the whole evening to spend with my husband in our fabulous apartment and I know you’ve got energy to spare since you just took a reviving nap.” Scotty cheerfully explains.


“How do you know I napped?” Kevin asks, semi-offended.

“Your hair is all messy.” Scotty replies, drawing Kevin close for another kiss. He puts his arms around Kevin’s waist and deepens the kiss.

“Sarah.” Kevin manages to say between kisses.


“Huh? That’s not sexy Kev.”

“No. I mean, she’s coming over. She called. She has a present for us.” Kevin says. Scotty lets go of his husband and sits down on the couch.

“Oh. What kind of present? Is it like a bag of the new produce of Ojai or is it more ‘Congrats – you get to tell Nora that neither of us can make it on Saturday’?”


“I don’t know, she wouldn’t say.” Kevin says.

“Oh, you’re grumpy.” Scotty laughs at Kevin. “Come here, sweetie.” He pats the couch and Kevin sits down next to him. “We might as well use the time we have.” Scotty says, leaning over Kevin to spread them on the couch with himself on top.


They barely have time to get lost in the kiss before there is a knock on the door. Scotty jumps up to open the door.

“Fix your hair.” He says to Kevin. He opens the door to let Sarah in. She is carrying a big gift basket wrapped in an enormous amount of cellophane, making it impossible to see what’s in the bag.


“Did I interrupt again?” Sarah asks, looking at Kevin’s messy hair. “I did call.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Scotty says. “Do you want coffee?” He asks.

“No, no. I’ll let you get back to business. I just felt very sorry for the last couple of times when I’ve interrupted and so… I got this. It’s a ‘Sorry I interrupted and happy anniversary’ gift, all in one.” She hands the basket to Scotty who places it on the coffee table. He tries to peek into it, but can’t make anything out.


“Well, thanks.” Scotty says. “We’re gonna have the anniversary party at Nora’s in a few weeks though, you could have waited until then.”

“No, I couldn’t.” Sarah is interrupted by very loud rustling from the cellophane. “Kevin, at least wait until I’ve left.” She snaps at him. He looks embarrassed and leans back on the couch, still curiously staring at the basket.


“Trust me, this is nothing you want to open in front of the family. You know we have no boundaries.” She winks at Scotty. “Enjoy.” She nods at Kevin and exits the loft.


The door has barely closed behind her when they both attack the plastic to tear it off the basket. When it’s off they both stare at the objects in it, suddenly paralyzed from moving.

“Wow. This is quite the gift.” Kevin says. “But I’m not sure I want to receive this from my sister.”


“I’m just glad your mother isn’t watching us open this.” Scotty says mesmerized by all the things. “Do you wanna look through it?” He asks.

“Okay.” Kevin slowly says. He picks up a small bottle and looks at the label. “Heating massage oil, strawberry.” He reads. “Edible.” He adds.


“Chocolate body paint.” Scotty reads on a jar with a brush attached to it. “Where did Sarah buy all this?”

“I have no idea.” Kevin says, shaking his head. “What is this? First we massage each other, then we dust?”


Scotty looks at the small tag hanging from the purple feathers Kevin is holding.

“Teasing feather.” He reads. “Not to mix with the chocolate, I guess.” He jokes.

“Suggesting dices.” He reads on the next small box, the words ‘lick’ and ‘nipple’ staring at him from two bright pink dices.


“A shower sponge?” Kevin says, holding up a big round yellow sponge. “Is this a subtle way of saying we smell?” He asks, shaking the thing a bit as he laughs. The sponge starts vibrating, bringing clarity to its purpose. “Water-proof.” He reads from the tag.


“An eye mask?” Scotty says. “In leopard skin pattern? Am I the only one starting to think Sarah is channeling her own lack of sex onto us.”

“Either that or my massive amount of hinting at her destroying ours is finally paying off.” Kevin says, holding up a pair of handcuffs with pink fuzz on them.


“Interesting.” He says. Scotty looks at them and blushes.

“At least we won’t have to wrinkle your ties.” He says. “I thought this was more of a girl thing.” He says at a small box. “Vibrating egg. Use on any part of the body to achieve an arousing and tingling sensation for your or your partner.” He reads.


“Girl thing?” Kevin echoes.

“You know. For use at the part of the body neither of us have.” Scotty says.

“Uterus?” Kevin suggests. “You can’t say that word can you?” He asks.

“I have no problem with uterus.” Scotty says.


“No, the other one. Clitoris.” Kevin says.

“Ew, don’t say that!” Scotty cries. “I know I’m not supposed to, but something in me curls when I hear that.” Kevin laughs at him and picks up another bottle.

“Heating lubricant. Now that I know.” He says.


“Champagne.” Scotty says and lifts up the last piece from the basket. “Now this I know.” He says. “Why don’t I put this in the freezer…?” He suggests. “And while it gets cold, you and I take a shower.”


“With this?” Kevin says, holding up the sponge.

“Yes.” Scotty says. He gives Kevin a kiss before disappearing into the kitchen with the bottle. “I’ve kind of forgiven Sarah now.” He calls.

“Really? I’m not quite there yet.” Kevin says. He picks up his cell phone and sends a text to Sarah.


“Who else knows that you gave us this? If you tell Scotty will hurt you.” He writes and pushes ‘send’.

Scotty returns from the kitchen with a big smile. He picks up the sponge from the table and holds on to it as he slides into Kevin’s arms. He leads them both towards the bathroom, and when the reply from Sarah comes neither of them are there to hear it.


When the water is turned on, a message is waiting to be read. ‘No one knows. Only mom and Kitty who shopped with me. They won’t tell.’

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