The thirtieth

Rate: PG-13
Disclaimer: Just borrowing.
Summary: Scotty turns 30, and age angst hits.
Spoilers: None.
Word count: 802

Scotty has never thought that he would be one of those aging men who would buy a little red sports car for their 45th birthday, or start sky-diving in their fifties, just to prove how youthful and virile they are.


He still doesn’t think he will become one of them, but he is starting to understand them. Turning 30 was nothing. Breakfast in bread, Walker family dinner, phone call to mom and to dad, then an early night with a very congratulating Kevin in bed.


However, today, the day after his 30th, he might as well just go back to bed and stay there indefinitely. When he went up his joints were stiff, he groaned when he had to bend over and put on his socks and he is sure that that one hair is gray – not alternative blonde, which Kevin classified it as.


No, now he is 30 going on 89 and there is no use trying to hide it.

“I may just as well buy one of those little trolleys to bring home food from the store in and join a Canasta team,” Scotty complains over breakfast, not getting any sympathy from a giggling Kevin.


“Let’s go out today, take a walk,” Kevin suggests, looking out through the window to make sure the rain has stopped. Temporarily anyway.

“Yeah, that doesn’t make us seem old,” Scotty whines, burying his face in his palms.


“Okay, let’s go get very drunk in the middle of the day,” Kevin suggests instead. “You know I’m always ready for that.”


Scotty takes a deep breath and looks up, staring at Kevin with a pouty look.

“Okay, let’s take a walk in the park,” he says. “But we are not feeding the birds.”




Kevin had barely even objected when Scotty had taken his hand when they were strolling around on the paths. By now Scotty knew that it was rather the imbalance of holding on to someone when walking, rather than the PDA he disliked when it came to holding hands, but today Scotty needed the world to know that they were a young, hip, happening couple.


Okay, so a married, domesticated couple with a baby on the way, a good insurance and weekly grocery store visits, but still. Hip and happening.


“Let’s sit down,” Kevin suggests, dragging Scotty to a nearby bench by a bunch of flowers. The flowers are looking droopy, probably from the heavy rain, but with the sun about to look out from between the clouds, they will probably be back to normal within the hour.


They sit down on the bench and watch people walk by, some alone, some with children, come in couples. Scotty watches a child run on the grass, suddenly falling down but quickly pulling itself up and continuing to run.


“I hope we sit here in 50 years and watch people go by,” Scotty says, “but right now I’m feeling like a hundred years old even though I’m not. I really need to do something youngster-ish,” he says and stands up.


“Youngster-ish?” Kevin repeats and stands up, following Scotty on the path. “Like what?”

“Maybe I should get a tattoo that says Forever young, just to prove a point,” Scotty muses out loud.

“Not that tattoos aren’t sexy, but sweetie, let’s not,” Kevin says, taking Scotty’s hand and dragging him closer.


“Then we could go find a rave party and trash it.”

“I think that’s impossible, and besides, I think rave parties stopped being hip in the nineties,” Kevin says, placing his hands on Scotty’s arms and giving him a quick peck on the lips. “Let’s go have lunch. Without cocaine.”


“Ugh, okay,” Scotty agrees, bending his head but letting Kevin take his hand and lead him further along the small path. They walk side by side in silence, having without words decided to go to one of their favourite restaurants located close-by.


They walk by two benches on which four older ladies sit. They are all wearing tracksuits with matching visors. Scotty feel their eyes on himself as they approach, hand in hand.


Scotty knows, even for this tiny second he has to think it over, that Kevin will probably not approve. However, before they are out of sight from the ladies, he stops and drags Kevin close, putting his hand on the back of Kevin’s head and pulling his face to his own, giving him a kiss. Kevin doesn’t quite respond to the violent treatment, but still opens his lips a bit when Scotty decides to deepen their kiss.


Scotty hears the ladies make Ooh-ing noises and he lets go of Kevin. He sends the ladies a quick smile and a wink before taking Kevin’s hand and walking along like nothing happened. Yes, just like he thought, it did make him feel younger.

Walker Advent calendar: Flap #23

Rate: PG-13
Disclaimer: Just borrowing.
Summary: A Christmas tale.
Spoilers: None.
Word count: 354

When it’s the day before the day and a loving married couple has nothing in particular to do, they might find themselves to spend the entire day on the couch, sharing thoughts and touches while they talk about life in general, and their future in particular.


Kevin gestures with his arms when he describes his dream house, where there is a fireplace in their big bedroom, a nursery room filled with pretty toys, a big light kitchen with all the equipment one could imagine and a big garden for playing and growing vegetables and herbs.


“And a cat,” Scotty adds. “A white cat with spots. Our neighbours in Oxford had one like that and I used to play with it, but my mom would never let me get a cat of my own.”


“We had a dog when I was little,” Kevin says, thinking back to Bingo. “And I’ve always wanted a pet since then.”

“But we can’t get a cat until the baby is a couple of years old.”


“Is that a rule,” Kevin wonders. “I didn’t know.”

“I think so. Maybe not. We will have to read all those books about what to expect when expecting.”


“I hear your thighs and ass swell up,” Kevin says dryly. “So you better keep doing those push-ups before going to bed every night.”

“You’d enjoy that, wouldn’t you?” Scotty says, placing the fingertips of one hand on Kevin’s chest, pushing him down against the couch and kissing his lips.


“In fact, you should start doing them naked, for full effect,” Kevin suggest, raising himself slightly to kiss Scotty again.

“I bet there would be an effect if I did them naked, yes,” Scotty says, giving Kevin one thorough kiss before sitting up next to Kevin again.


“Well…” Kevin says, following Scotty and climbing over him, squeezing him down quite uncomfortably on the couch. “You shouldn’t deny your aging husband some fun. Especially not on Christmas.”


“I have no intention of denying him such a thing,” Scotty replies, grabbing Kevin’s wrists to push him off his own body, instead trapping him between himself and the couch.

Walker Advent calendar: Flap #22

Rate: PG-13
Disclaimer: Just borrowing.
Summary: A Christmas tale.
Spoilers: None.
Word count: 308

“December 22nd,” Scotty muses. He’s propped up with Kevin on the couch, his head resting on Kevin’s shoulder. They’ve been watching boring Christmas specials on TV all night, enjoying their time together rather than the entertainment. “It’s almost Christmas,” Scotty continues. “Then new years’ eve, and then it’s a new decade.”


“That’s right, it is,” Kevin says, adjusting his leg under Scotty so it won’t fall asleep. “Ten years ago I was just a sad little law student, dreading to celebrate Christmas with my overbearing family who wouldn’t just let me be,”


“No oppressed feelings there, huh?” Scotty asks, gently nudging Kevin in the side.

“None,” Kevin agrees.

“I still lived at home,” Scotty says. “Horrid thought.”


“Did you call your dad?” Kevin asks, changing the topic.

“I did,” Scotty says slowly. “It’s still awkward between us though, but he asked some more about the baby.”

“That’s good,” Kevin says, moving his hand softly over Scotty’s belly. “You know, in another world, a twisted parallell universe, this would be where our baby was growing this very moment.”


Scotty looks down his own body, staring at his flat stomach and Kevin’s hand on it.

“Says who?” He wonders. “I think you’d be the first to get pregnant out of the two of us.”

“Re-eally?” Kevin wonders, a smile spreading on his face. “How is that?”


Scotty doesn’t reply, he only tilts his head backwards slightly, kissing Kevin’s cheek.

“I know that wanting to have a baby ‘the natural way’ is supposed to be some kind of dream,” Kevin says. “But I really don’t mind the way we’re having ours.”


Scotty stopps kissing Kevin’s throat, again leaning back on Kevin’s shoulder.

“I know,” Scotty says.

“In fact, I can’t imagine any better way to have a baby,” Kevin says, leaning forward to kiss the juncture of Scotty’s neck. “With you.”

Walker Advent calendar: Flap #21

Rate: PG-13
Disclaimer: Just borrowing.
Summary: A Christmas tale.
Spoilers: None.
Word count: 387

“It’s Monday and you’re not busy with your critically acclaimed blog?” Kevin asks Scotty during breakfast that morning of the 21st of December. With only a few days left until Christmas, Scotty was working from home with administrative tasks as the restaurant was closed during large parts of the holiday. Kevin also had some more things to get done before he could call it Christmas holiday, but they were minor and he could do them from home.


“I’m having a Christmas hiatus,” Scotty says.

“But you just started,” Kevin says. “And I loved that mulled wine.”

“I know, you managed to get tipsy from it,” Scotty replies, giving Kevin’s calf a soft kick under the kitchen table.


“So we’re not doing any cool experiment that I can eat?” Kevin mopes.

“Sorry, honey,” Scotty says. “Maybe we can think of some other interesting experiment for you.”


Kevin giggles and pours himself some more coffee, sipping it carefully not to burn his tongue. He might need it for later.


“Do you have all gifts wrapped and ready?” Scotty asks, noticing how he clearly interrupted Kevin’s wandering minds.

“Huh?” Kevin asks, looking up at an amused Scotty. “Who?”


“The Christmas presents,”

“Oh right,” Kevin says, clearing his throat. “All done. Including yours.”


Scotty giggles at the mention of his own gift. Just a few years ago, all the Christmas gifts he got were either from his parents and usually consisting of money, or from a company he worked at for the moment, and consisting of anything they could print their logotype on.


“I have to go by the office and get some stuff, better do it today when Robert is still in Washington,” Kevin says, finishing his coffee and getting up to put his dishes in the dish washer.

“He’ll be back for Christmas, won’t he?”

“Yeah, of course,” Kevin says, hoping that is true. With the heavy snowing these last days, one can’t be too sure about your flight, and having your own private jet won’t help.


“I wouldn’t mind some snow here,” Scotty says as if he had read Kevin’s mind. “It would be cozy.”

“I’ll get you one of those snow globes. They have them with the Hollywood sign in them,” Kevin says, grabbing Scotty’s cheek to kiss him. “I’ll be back in a bit, love you.”

Walker Advent calendar: Flap #20

Rate: R
Disclaimer: Just borrowing.
Summary: A Christmas tale.
Spoilers: None.
Word count: 378

“Your mother seriously wanted Kitty to name her kid Alulah?” Scotty asks Kevin, threading his fingers with Kevin’s. Kevin crawls closer to Scotty, adjusting the duvet so their naked bodies are still covered.


“Yep,” Kevin says. “Just imagine how involved she will be when it’s time to name our kid, whenever that will be, and whether we want it or not.”

“Well, it’s better than if my mother were to name it. We’d end up with Inez or something,”



“That’s the name my mother wanted to give me had I been a girl,” Scotty says quietly. Kevin turns his head to look at Scotty, his mouth half-open as he trembles to find the right words.


“Wow,” he finally says. “That’s…”

“I know,” Scotty cuts him off. “Ancient.” They both stay quiet for a minute or two, playing with each others hands entangling and detangling fingers.


“Maybe we have to name the kid after some comic book character, after your dad made this thing happen?” Kevin suggests.

“Great, so we’re stuck with Pink Panther or Lucky Luke?” Scotty says, giggling as he kisses Kevin’s cheek.


“That’s cute though, isn’t it?” Kevin replies, turning his head slightly so his lips can catch Scotty’s.

“I guess,” Scotty mumbles with Kevin’s lips on his.


“Or we have a big voting fest among the immediate friends and family, for democracy’s sake,” Kevin suggests, his hands leaving Scotty’s to explore other body parts.


“You’ve got an amazing belly,” Kevin says, stroking Scotty’s flat stomach with his hands, letting his fingers grace Scotty’s skin, soft and tingling. Kevin kisses Scotty’s neck, then his collar bone, then traveling down Scotty’s chest until he reaches the spot of Scotty’s belly where his hand rests.


“Really amazing,” Kevin repeats, kissing and gently biting the skin. Scotty shivers under the gentle touch, moving his hand to Kevin’s hair, grasping the curls so hard his knuckles whiten.


The further noises made that Sunday morning in the bed of Kevin and Scotty are merely grumbles and moans. Their 20th of December leaves five days until Christmas morning, the time of unraveling the presents that will accompany them all when starting their new year and their new decade. This however, is naturally not on the minds of either Kevin or Scotty.

Walker Advent calendar: Flap #19

Rate: PG-13
Disclaimer: Just borrowing.
Summary: A Christmas tale.
Spoilers: None.
Word count: 421

On the Saturday of the 19th of December, Kevin looks up from his papers just about the same time as his husband swirls by carrying a big box marked “Xmas”. However, it is not the big box that has attracted his attention, but the song now playing from the computer in the corner of the living room.


“What are we listening to?” Kevin asks, doubt in his voice.

“Christmas music, Mr I’m-so-boring-that-I-have-to-work-on-a-Saturday-before-Christmas,” Scotty replies.

“You know that it’s so I can be totally free from work during Christmas,” Kevin says, doing his best puppy eyes so Scotty will pity him.


The trap works, and Scotty pouts, putting out his lower lip in sympathy, kissing Kevin on the lips before returning to the box.

“So what are we listening to? It sounds like a children’s song,” Kevin asks again.


“Oh Tannenbaum,” Scotty informs. “It’s one of my mother’s favorite Christmas songs, it’s very happy childhood Christmas for me.”

“It’s in German,” Kevin states.

“Yes, about a tree,” Scotty fills in, not letting Kevin’s sarcasm get to him. “One that is green all year round.”


“Did you study German, because you know, that is kind of sexy,” Kevin says, leaning back on the couch to mark that he is taking a break from the work on the table before him.


“You know I almost flunked French,” Scotty says, sitting down on the arm rest of the couch, holding a small ceramic Santa in his hands. “And that’s about it,” he says as the last notes of the song fills the apartment.


“For a moment there I was imagining you to give out orders in German, with subtitles and everything,” Kevin says, playfully sliding his hand down Scotty’s thigh.

“Sometimes you scare me, Kevin Walker,” Scotty says, bends down and kisses Kevin once again, and then gets up to place the Santa he’s been holding.


He puts it on a shelf, takes a few steps back and examines the placing. He nods approvingly and returns to the box, picking up a red glass star with a thread running through one if its points.


“I’ll put this in the window in the bedroom,” he says and disappears. Kevin smiles and leans forward to his papers again. Somehow it seems less alluring to go through the communication strategies of 2010 than to Christmas decorate the apartment with your husband. Kevin thinks no further, but quickly gathers the papers into one sloppy pile, putting it in a file before following Scotty into the bedroom.

Walker Advent calendar: Flap #18

Rate: PG
Disclaimer: Just borrowing.
Summary: A Christmas tale.
Spoilers: None.
Word count: 519

Scotty took a deep breath, considering a shot of scotch. He stares at the telephone receiver in his hand and knows that he needs to do this. He dials and waits while the tones beep in his ear.


“Hello,” says the voice on the other end.

“Hi mom,” Scotty replies, doing his best to sound cheerful.


“Scott,” she says, and Scotty almost thinks she sounds happy to hear from him. After all, he hasn’t spoken to either of his parents since his dad visited and told him about their separation. “How are you?”


“I’m quite good,” Scotty truthfully says. “I just recovered from the flu.”

“Glad you’re feeling better,” Bertha says, her voice showing no emotions what so ever.


“I thought I’d call and say Merry Christmas,” Scotty continues, trying to push the conversation forward.

“Yes, Merry Christmas to you too.”


Scotty closes his eyes and takes another deep breath. This is in no way delightful, but he needs to tell his mother about what is going on, no matter if she’s asking to hear it or not. Not every mother can be as pushy and privacy-invading as Nora.


“I don’t know if you’ve spoken with dad. He came to visit us a couple of weeks ago.”

“Yes, he told me that,” Bertha says, and Scotty knows right away that his mother knows that Wally had taken Moira there.


“Did he tell you that Kevin and I are starting a family?” Scotty asks, his voice just as fragile as every time he had to read in front of his class in Elementary school. “We’re having a baby,” he adds.


His mother doesn’t reply at all, and Scotty isn’t sure if to interpret it was disapproval or if she just doesn’t know what to say. Even if she was trying to be accepting, she’s not a woman of many words, and she wouldn’t know how to handle this situation.


“A friend of ours is going to carry it, uh, be our surrogate,” Scotty explains, having no clue about if his mother wants to hear this or not. At least she will have all the info. “She’s not yet pregnant, because it all takes a lot of time, but hopefully it’ll be soon. Next year,”


“Oh,” Bertha says quietly. Scotty chooses to interpret this as a sign of approval, so he continues.

“When the baby is born, maybe you would like to come and visit us.” He throws out the question, ready to get shocked or shut down. There is a long awkward silence before Bertha speaks again


“I’d love that, Scotty.” For a second it’s Scotty that doesn’t know what to say, so for the remains of the conversation, it’s him that stumbles over his words, wishing his mother a merry Christmas once again, and say hello to grandma and grandpa. Suddenly the conversation is over and Scotty again stares at the telephone receiver in his hand.


Of all the possible outcomes of that talk, this was not the one he had expected. He dials again and waits for someone to pick up.

“Sweetie, I just spoke with my mother…”


Min profilbild


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