Walker Advent calendar: Flap #18

Rate: PG
Disclaimer: Just borrowing.
Summary: A Christmas tale.
Spoilers: None.
Word count: 519

Scotty took a deep breath, considering a shot of scotch. He stares at the telephone receiver in his hand and knows that he needs to do this. He dials and waits while the tones beep in his ear.


“Hello,” says the voice on the other end.

“Hi mom,” Scotty replies, doing his best to sound cheerful.


“Scott,” she says, and Scotty almost thinks she sounds happy to hear from him. After all, he hasn’t spoken to either of his parents since his dad visited and told him about their separation. “How are you?”


“I’m quite good,” Scotty truthfully says. “I just recovered from the flu.”

“Glad you’re feeling better,” Bertha says, her voice showing no emotions what so ever.


“I thought I’d call and say Merry Christmas,” Scotty continues, trying to push the conversation forward.

“Yes, Merry Christmas to you too.”


Scotty closes his eyes and takes another deep breath. This is in no way delightful, but he needs to tell his mother about what is going on, no matter if she’s asking to hear it or not. Not every mother can be as pushy and privacy-invading as Nora.


“I don’t know if you’ve spoken with dad. He came to visit us a couple of weeks ago.”

“Yes, he told me that,” Bertha says, and Scotty knows right away that his mother knows that Wally had taken Moira there.


“Did he tell you that Kevin and I are starting a family?” Scotty asks, his voice just as fragile as every time he had to read in front of his class in Elementary school. “We’re having a baby,” he adds.


His mother doesn’t reply at all, and Scotty isn’t sure if to interpret it was disapproval or if she just doesn’t know what to say. Even if she was trying to be accepting, she’s not a woman of many words, and she wouldn’t know how to handle this situation.


“A friend of ours is going to carry it, uh, be our surrogate,” Scotty explains, having no clue about if his mother wants to hear this or not. At least she will have all the info. “She’s not yet pregnant, because it all takes a lot of time, but hopefully it’ll be soon. Next year,”


“Oh,” Bertha says quietly. Scotty chooses to interpret this as a sign of approval, so he continues.

“When the baby is born, maybe you would like to come and visit us.” He throws out the question, ready to get shocked or shut down. There is a long awkward silence before Bertha speaks again


“I’d love that, Scotty.” For a second it’s Scotty that doesn’t know what to say, so for the remains of the conversation, it’s him that stumbles over his words, wishing his mother a merry Christmas once again, and say hello to grandma and grandpa. Suddenly the conversation is over and Scotty again stares at the telephone receiver in his hand.


Of all the possible outcomes of that talk, this was not the one he had expected. He dials again and waits for someone to pick up.

“Sweetie, I just spoke with my mother…”

Walker Advent calendar: Flap #11

Rate: G
Disclaimer: Just borrowing.
Summary: A Christmas tale.
Spoilers: None.
Word count: 408

Sarah whistled as she went shopping on this particular Friday evening. She didn’t know if it was because of the jolly Christmas feeling, or because she hit her head on the refrigerator door earlier that morning.


The supermarket is filled with families shopping for pre-holiday dinners and random weekend coziness and as much as Sarah despises their jolliness, nothing will kill hers. A Friday night with a large amount of wine, spent with a brother and his husband is just what she needs to prepare for Paige and Cooper’s arrival on Sunday.


Kevin had called to arrange their dinner earlier, now that Scotty was feeling a bit better – he had, however, vowed not to even touch their wine – and Sarah had stupidly offered to cook for them in Kevin and Scotty’s kitchen.


She should have remembered every single time she has cooked for Scotty and how incredibly nervous she is that he will frown. She might not be the poster girl for a housewife, but she takes pride in being a good chef, a sign of refusal to lose rather than anything else.


She takes two cans of coconut milk and puts in her already over-filled cart. Kevin will not be allowed room to call her cheap. Again. She feels her cell phone move in her pocket and picks it up.


Bring chocolate ice cream, Scotty needs. Love Kevin


Sarah picks up to pints of Ben & Jerry’s on her way to the extremely long queues, leaning on her cart as she slowly moves forward towards a lovely calm family evening.




Scotty was cuddled down on the couch, very tired, but very appreciative of some company after all his lonely boring hours of restlessly waiting for the fever to subside.


Kevin and Sarah were bickering with each other, never far away from a new glass of wine. He smiles at them and figures it isn’t all that strange that Kevin became a lawyer. Growing up with this company must have turned him into a sharp talker quite quickly.


Kevin fetches another bottle of wine from the kitchen and sits down by Scotty’s feet on the couch. Scotty stretches out his legs on Kevin’s lap and pulls the blanket closer around him. He closes his eyes for just a little while and Kevin rubs his feet. He hears Sarah and Kevin’s bickering continue, and they probably don’t even notice when Scotty fades away into peaceful sleep.

Walker Advent calendar: Flap #2

Rate: PG
Disclaimer: Just borrowing.
Summary: A Christmas tale.
Spoilers: None.
Word count: 461

Whatever chipper mood Scotty had been in when he woke up, it was definitely gone by lunch. With cold and flu season at the restaurant, and add to that a 2 week long vacation for one of the managers and a waitress on maternity-leave and you have Scotty wanting to blow out his brain all over the carrot soups.


Knowing that it was the night of Kevin’s budget meeting didn’t help, it would only mean that Scotty would try to wait up on the couch, only to wake up in the middle of the night with a sore neck, trying to snuggle up to Kevin in bed without him waking up.


It is not a recipe for romance. Scotty unlocks and opens the door to the loft, sighing heavily as he walks into the dark room. He turns on the light switch, and in the corner of his eye he sees something shiny.


He drops his bag quite violently against the floor, looking at the small note next to the shiny pack. ‘Merry December 2nd, x Kevin’. For a second Scotty admires the small wrapped present, then he tears it open, anxious to see what Kevin has left him.


The wrapping paper falls to the floor, revealing a piece of cinnamon flavored chocolate and a small bottle of orange/clove scented massage oil. Scotty grins at the X-mas themed gifts and puts them on the coffee table.


He picks up his cell from his pocket and sends Kevin a text, thanking him and with a not too subtle hint telling Kevin to clear his afternoon for tomorrow.




Kevin feels his cell vibrate in his pocket, and sneaks it up to have a look. ‘Thanks for the gifts, will use tomorrow, tell Robert you’re busy.’ Kevin reads the message twice and wonders what gifts Scotty is referring too.


As much as he should focus on the meeting, something is poking his brain. He knows the answer to this, it just won’t show. He drops his pen very loudly on the floor when it actually does, and between clenched teeth he growls “Sarah”. Robert asks him if he’s okay, and he excuses himself from the room, waving his cell phone.


Sarah picks up after just two signals.

“What? You said you wanted to do something nice for Scotty, and if I have to hear you complain about your lack of sex life one more time, I’ll kill myself. Knock yourself out, baby brother,” and with that Sarah’s gone.


Kevin tries to focus during the rest of the meeting, but he is incredibly curious to what kind of gift he gave his husband, and how it will be used. Somehow the anticipation doesn’t make figures about competence development in the tourism sector more interesting.

Walker Advent calendar: Flap #1

My plan is to post one little story on each day until Christmas, following mainly Kevin and Scotty through December. I can't promise that I will post each day, but my ambition is there. :) Not sure when this will end though, because my X-mas, being Swedish, is Dec 24th. Oh well, we'll see where they boys take us.


Rate: PG
Disclaimer: Just borrowing.
Summary: A Christmas tale.
Spoilers: None.
Word count: 372


“Merry-24-days-until-Christmas,” Scotty cheerfully exclaims to Kevin, who is barely awake. Kevin moans softly as he tries to wake up enough to understand why Scotty has placed a big tray with breakfast on their bed.


Scotty watches Kevin’s sleep-swollen face as he blinks and tries to process what is going on, smiling wider and wider as Kevin lifts his head to inspect the treat.


“It’s… Monday?” Kevin asks sleepily.

“Tuesday, sweetie,” Scotty corrects. “You weren’t at work yesterday because you have a cold, remember?” It all comes rushing back to Kevin and suddenly he remembers spending his Monday on the couch, with Scotty pampering him with sweets and kisses, renting him videos and fetching him blankets.


“Mm,” Kevin agrees. “Maybe I should be sick today too.” Before he has managed to finish his sentence to get some sympathy, Scotty places a thermometer in his mouth. When it beeps he pulls it back out and replaces it with a quick kiss before looking at the display.

“No fever.”


Kevin groans over the fact that he needs to go into the office, if only for a few hours. He takes a sandwich from Scotty’s perfectly prepared tray and takes a bite.

“You’re the best husband ever.”


Scotty smiles and pours some coffee into a mug.

“I know,” he says. “And I plan on being very good every day until Christmas, to maximize my Christmas presents.”


“Did you hand a list to Santa?” Kevin dryly asks and takes a sip of coffee.

“I think Santa has modernized, and do it all telepathically,” Scotty replies equally dryly. Kevin mutters in reply and Scotty laughs. He didn’t use to be so sarcastic, but it’s very fun to see Kevin’s reactions when he is.


“But Santa, as well as our respective bosses will have to wait, because you and I are celebrating December first in bed,” Scotty turns slightly to look at the clock, “for at least another two hours.”


Kevin smiles and makes a quiet satisfied noise, putting his coffee mug on the bedside table. He crawls closer to Scotty and pulls him back down on the bed.

“Happy December first then,” he whispers, burying himself and his husband deep down between the sheets.

Coming home

Rate: PG
Disclaimer: Just borrowing.
Summary: Robert and Kevin return to California after a job related trip.
Spoilers: Maybe some early season 4 stuff.
Word count: 410

Robert takes a deep breath before opening the door to the ranch. He is feeling guilty for having gone on his business trip when Kitty is starting her treatment, but he cut it short and now he’s back to tend to her. He has a bouquet of red roses with him and a smile glued onto his face.


He opens the door and steps into the quiet house.

“I’m home!” he calls out, and Kitty walks out of the nursery, carrying Evan in her arms. “Hi sweeties,” he says, giving Kitty a kiss on the cheek and evan a kiss on the forehead.


Kitty seems tired but happy, and Robert hopes that his coming home is part of the  smile on her lips.

“There is food in the fridge, we can heat it up,” she says. “Scotty cooked it.” She adds before Robert gets some image of what kind of goo could be awaiting if she had tried to cook herself.


“Wonderful,” he replies. “If you start up in the kitchen, I can put our wonderful son to bed.” She smiles and hands the baby over, lingering a bit to take in the heat from their three bodies, blending together when Evan moves over to his daddy. He makes a little noise before finding his new position in Robert’s arms.


Robert starts talking to Evan, soft words towards the soft skin. Kitty stands in the middle of the room, watching them disappear into the other room. Marital bliss, in all its simpleness. She smiles again and walks to the kitchen. She cannot cook, but she is well acquainted with the microwave oven.




Kevin rips the door to the loft open, startling Scotty, who was spread out on the couch watching tv.

“Sorry,” Kevin apologises goofily. He puts his suitcase on the floor and walks over to Scotty, giving him a brief kiss. Scotty makes room on the couch and Kevin slides down next to him, leaning against Scotty’s chest.


Kevin lets his fingers intertwine with Scotty’s, playing together before settling on his chest.

“How was Washington?” Scotty asks.

“Boring,” Kevin replies per default. “At least Robert cut the trip short, so I don’t have to spend another night alone in a cold hotelroom.”


“Did you have trouble sleeping without me?” Scotty teases. Kevin grunts childishly and moves closer to Scotty.

“Maybe,” he says. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too,” Scotty says, planting a soft kiss of Kevin’s head.

Hot off the presses

Rate: PG
Disclaimer: Just borrowing.
Summary: When your boss is a hot-shot politician, even the little things become interesting in the eyes of the public.



The latest scoop from the world of politics comes from the office of Californian senator Robert MacCallister. The senator experienced medical difficulties last spring and was just starting to battle his candidacy for governor along with his staff when openly gay communications director Kevin Walker was suddenly in the limelight.


A tape on which Walker, who is also senator MacCallister’s brother-in-law, is seen in an intimate situation along with another man has surfaced on the internet. The other man is said to be Walker’s husband, Los Angeles five star chef Scott Wandell, but that information has yet to be verified.


When asked for a comment, Walker says: “My personal life has nothing to do with the work that is done at the senator’s office, and we have no comment further than that.”


The tape first appeared on celebrity gossip sites on the internet, but it wasn’t long until it was deleted with reference to legal matters. It’s still unclear what the existence of this tape will mean to the senator’s run for governor, but according to Kevin Walker, the campaign proceeds as planned.




“Kevin, I will just ask you this once, and I expect an honest answer.”

“The tape?” Kevin looks up from his paper, not able to wipe the smile off his face. “It’s footage of me and Scotty kissing outside a karaoke bar. All clothes on, I promise.”


“Sometimes I hate being Republican.” Robert mumbles when he leaves Kevin alone again. Kevin laughs quietly and secretly wonders what would happen if one of the more undressed videos were to leak.

Family, Part 5 / 7+

Rate: PG
Disclaimer: Just borrowing.
Summary: Scotty offers a suprise when first meeting Kevin.
Thanks to: Sueli for beta reading.


Scotty gladly accepts the beer Jordan offers him. When he returned to pick Jeremy up, he was already sound asleep, and Scotty didn’t want to wake him up.
“So you’re really going to see him tomorrow?” Jordan asks, his voice filled with hesitation.

“I have to, it’s about the case,” Scotty answers.
“Yeah right,” Jordan says. “He’s already told you that the case is over, and just when you have told him off, he needs to see you, with,” Jordan lowers his voice, “an offer you can’t refuse.”

“Kevin isn’t like that. He takes his work very seriously,” Scotty says, to convince himself more than Jordan. “Besides, I can tell him off again if needed.”
“Or date him and see what happens,” Jordan suggest, expecting Scotty to react like he always does when Jordan suggests anything related to dating and sex.

“And what about Jeremy?” Scotty replies, more fiercely than he planned.
“I’ll take care of him,” Jordan simply says. “He loves his uncle Jordan, and he wants his daddy to be happy.”

“But I already barely ever see him, and just in a few months he will start kindergarten, and that will take even more time,” Scotty says, searching for more and new arguments in his head.
“And I’m gonna be there for you then too.” Jordan puts his hand on Scotty’s shoulder across the kitchen table. “Just because he is your first priority, doesn’t mean you can’t live a life for yourself.”

Scotty exhales. He knows that Jordan is right, and eventually he has to do things for himself again.
“Or just get laid. It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” Jordan says, interrupting his thoughts.
“Yeah,” Scotty quietly says. “A while.”

Since Megan there has been one guy, and just barely. They had met when Scotty and Jeremy had just arrived to California, when Jeremy had been at Jordan’s for one of the first times ever. Scotty had decided to follow that guy home just for a few hours that night, and has regretted it since.

“So if he asks you out again, make it a baby free appointment, and leave Jeremy with me. You know my working hours,” Jordan says. “This is not up for negotiation anymore, mister.”

Scotty nods, but actually feels pretty pleased with the sudden turn of events. Now he can do whatever with Kevin and not feel bad about it. He can’t say no now, because Jordan has told him not to. He nods to himself. That seems like a good plan.

“Daddy,” comes a thin voice from the door. Jeremy stands in it, wearing his PJ’s. His eyes are narrow and swollen from sleeping, and his cheeks are rosy.
“There’s my favorite,” Scotty says, lifting him up and giving his brown hair a kiss. “We’re going home now, but you can sleep in the car, can’t you? We’ll be home and in bed in only twenty minutes.”

Jeremy nods and leans his head against Scotty’s chest, his eyes shut. Jordan hangs Scotty’s bag on Scotty’s other shoulder and kisses him goodbye on the cheek.
“See ya tomorrow, champ,” he whispers and strokes Jeremy’s face.


Kevin has read the e-mail from Scotty at least one hundred times, trying to read between the lines. Is Scotty upset that he has to go back to the office, did he understand that it was all a hoax and that it’s just a bad excuse for Kevin to meet him again?

Kevin nearly jumps off his chair when his secretary announces Scotty’s arrival.
“Send him in,” he buzzes back, and straightens his tie a last time. He stands up in front of his desk, casually leaning his hand on it, but deciding it looks too arranged, and manages to remove it before Scotty appears in the hallway.

“Hi,” Kevin greets, not sure if he should extend his right hand to say hello. After all this is a work meeting. Scotty nods a nervous “hi” back and Kevin suddenly panics.

It’s a job meeting, and he has no idea what he is going to say. Instead of coming up with a believable reason for Scotty to return, he re-read Scotty’s e-mail a million times. Good job, he thinks to himself.

“Sit down,” Kevin offers with an unsteady voice. “So glad you could come in again.” He says when returning to his own chair.
“Me too. I’m glad you asked me back,” Scotty says, rather surprising. “Before we start, maybe I could say something.” Scotty says before Kevin has time to think of his next line.

“I’m sorry about that call. I should at least have told it to you in person, but I chickened out and I’m sorry for that. Maybe we could try again. Lunch. Dinner,” Scotty says. His voice reveals that he has practices his words more than once, but is a bit insecure about asking Kevin out again.

Kevin opens his mouth to speak, but can’t find the words. His brain is still trying to come up with a task for him, a reason to have Scotty there, and now Scotty wants to give them another try. His whole dating experience screams ‘no’, knowing this checkering will only lead to pain and sorrow. In contradiction to all this, he hears his mouth say “I’d love to.” His hands pick up his cell phone, and just a minute later he has ‘Dinner w Scotty’ planned at 9:00 tomorrow.

“I’m really looking forward to that,” Kevin says while he escorts Scotty back to the front door of the firm. Scotty gives him a nervous wave before pushing the elevator button and minutes later Kevin is back in his office, staring out into the room.

His forehead wrinkles and his mouth twitches.
“What just happened?”

Family, Part 4 / 7+

Rate: PG
Disclaimer: Just borrowing.
Summary: Scotty offers a surprise when meeting Kevin.
Thanks to: Sueli for beta-ing.

“His nappies is in the bag, he needs it when he’s going to sleep, or he just gets cranky…”
“I know, Scotty.” Jordan interrupts. “I’ve done this, like, a million times. Go to work.” He pushes Scotty out of the door with a wide hand movement, a smile and a wink.

Scotty stands in the hallway with the closed door in front of him. Jordan is right, he takes care of Jeremy more or less every day, and thank god he does. If he hadn’t, Scotty would have to leave him playing on the highway when he left for work. He walks to the elevator, is about to press the button, but decides to take the stairs instead. That is healthy, he hears. Maybe they didn’t mean when going down, but whatever.

He drives to work, his brain still in a haze. He will never forget the day when Megan told him she was pregnant. Now, with the answers at hand, he knows that Jeremy has been the single most important thing in his life. He was the motivation to break free from the grasp that his parents and all of Mississippi had of him.

Loud grandparents had objected when he had left with his son, only a few months old, to go to California. He still let them come and visit whenever they want, but he’s made it very clear that Jeremy is his, and not for any grandparents to claim. He is a good father, give or take.

Through the years, he’s gotten quite the routine to deal with parenting issues. Jordan has been there since day one. He doesn’t know why he isn’t in love with Jordan, because it would be excellent. That thought has never been between them. Jordan is happy to take care of Jeremy during the afternoons when Scotty works, and sometimes for even more time when Scotty finds the odd job.

There hasn’t been much dating, or anything else either, for that matter. Scotty thinks about the numerous guys he’s met since he came to California. He doesn’t go out much, but that is not needed for guys to find him and try to pick him up. The grocery store, at work (especially when he’s cater waitering), in the park and in the streets.

Scotty chuckles when he thinks about the reactions he’s received when letting people know that he has a child. Most guys make up excuses and leave right away, some are more polite. But so far, none have been truthfully interested in him after learning that he is a 26 year old single father of a 5 year old.

He’s been to children’s groups and met other single parents, but as nice as many are, it seems difficult to find someone who understands him. He’s got a very unique situation, and he has no time or energy to waste on things that might jeopardize his role as a father.

It hasn’t been said out loud, but he knows that Megan’s parents keep an eagle eye on him, and are ready to take over at any minute. Scotty’s stomach turns at the thought. He will never allow that to happen. Jeremy is his child, and nothing can change that.

His mind wanders to Kevin Walker. The uptight lawyer he just couldn’t resist flirting with. Kevin was so cute, and it was a pure pleasure to tear down his cold wall. He didn’t plan on meeting Kevin outside the office anyway, so what was the harm?

When Sarah had asked him to the poor party he had agreed, but later e-mailed Sarah and said that he couldn’t come, because he had a son and no baby sitter. Sarah had insisted, saying it was a great idea for Jeremy to come along and play with her son Cooper, who is the same age.

It had been priceless to see Kevin’s face, but then painful when Kevin had actually asked them out on a play date. Not that he had a child to provide, but he really tried. He knows that he wouldn’t have worked out. Kevin clearly has issued, and he is nowhere near ready for a relationship, and definitely not one with someone who has a child.

He pulls in at the parking lot outside the restaurant where he is waitering tonight. He’s so glad he got this job at San EstephÈ. It’s just a short drive from Jordan’s, so he gets to spend more time with Jeremy now, and he gets more stable hours. The job might not last long, but he’s happy for the few weeks he might get there. Stability rocks.


Scotty is worn out when he finally gets his break. Only two more hours before he can leave, and now he has a few minutes to inhale a salad and check his mail. He checks with George, the head chef, if he can borrow the computer for a while, and gets a friendly nod in return. George is the reason he got this job in the first place. Scotty explained his love for cooking at the interview and signed the papers an hour later.

Scotty signs in to check his e-mails and finds one from Kevin about returning to the office for some kind of post-case thing. He thought they were all done with that, and was glad to never think about the Mangopean case ever again.

He exhales loudly and lets Kevin know that he can swing by the office tomorrow, but just for half an hour or so. He isn’t sure if Kevin actually needs to see him about the case again, or if Kevin just eagerly wants to see him again. Scotty shakes his head. Now why would he? He was just given the perfect excuse to get out of any kind of relationship with him, so why open it up again? Was Kevin perhaps pissed off because he hadn’t been the one to end it? No, that couldn’t be it, Kevin had been the one to ask him to the park.

Scotty is lost in his thoughts when he is called back from his break. He quickly signs out and gets up. Kevin needs to see him – fine. But then that’s it. After tomorrow, he will never meet Kevin Walker ever again.

Family, Part 3 / 6+

Rate: PG
Disclaimer: Just borrowing.
Summary: Scotty offers a surprise when meeting Kevin.
Thanks to: Sueli for beta-ing.

“Kevin what is it?” Sarah asks. “You sounded terrible on the phone.” She puts her bag on the back of the chair and sits down opposite of her brother. “Have you ordered yet? I’m famished.”

She takes a menu and starts browsing, expecting Kevin to start telling his story.
“You know Scotty,” Kevin begins. Sarah nods, not looking up. "I went with him to the park, and before I had a chance to tell him how incredibly okay I am with his fatherhood, he completely blew me off. Or actually, he did over the phone, on the answering machine, later that day.”

Sarah looks up and puts down her menu. “Stop ranting,” she says, taking Kevin’s hands over the table. “Tell me exactly what happened.”
Kevin does his best to collect his mind, telling Sarah about the trip to the park yesterday and the message he received later on.

“He totally opened up to me. Why would he do that and then just change his mind?”
“Kevin,” Sarah says. “Scotty is what? 26? He’s got a kid, he’s gay, he takes minor jobs to support them and he’s got no one. No family here.
I have kids, so let me tell you this: Without mom and you and Tommy to baby-sit, it never would have worked out. And I have Joe.”

Kevin nods, trying to let Sarah’s words sink in.
“But why would he then open the door to let me in, and shut me out? I could… help.”
“And what? Baby-sit?” Sarah snaps back.

“No, you know what I mean.” Kevin whines.
“I do, but you’re not getting this. Scotty is too vulnerable to let himself into a relationship of any kind. I don’t even know him, and yet it’s so obvious. You don’t see it, because this is unexplored territory to you.”

“So basically, he, and apparently you, think I will be there for him for a week or so, play with his kid and then be gone, leaving the two of them a little heart-broken,” Kevin states.

“I have to stick to the odds, Kev. You’re a good guy, you can totally do this. But you need to grow up.” Sarah waves at the waiter to come to them.
“I am grown up! I have a solid job, a place to stay and… routines,” Kevin defends himself.

“That is not the same. You can date all you want and not really care what happens, but the second you ask Scotty out or do anything with him, you are also adventuring that little boy’s safety.
I’ll have the salmon.”

“And for the gentleman?”
Kevin looks up at the waiter, two deep brown eyes looking into his. He’s done this before.
“Anything you recommend.” He smiles, giving the menu to the waiter.
“My pleasure,” the waiter replies, subtly licking his lips before taking Sarah’s menu and leaving to place their order.

“Eh…” Sarah regains Kevin’s attention. “I thought we were here because you had fallen for this guy, and now you’re trying to score with the waiter.”
“I have not fallen for him,” Kevin objects. “He’s just… nice.”

“This is exactly my point, Kevin Walker. You spend all this time obsessing about a person and you can’t even admit you like him. How do you expect someone to go for you when you can’t even make the tiniest of commitments.”


“Scotty. I’m sorry you feel like we can’t see each other anymore. I was very upset when I got your message. I hope you change your mind, and when you do…” Kevin reads his e-mail out loud, then highlights the whole thing and deletes it.

“I hope we can start over,” He says while typing. Start what? He thinks. It’s not like they had anything to end, so how can they start something again? He should do the easy thing and forget about Scotty, but after several sleepless nights, indiscreet nudging from Sarah and walking into an old woman because his mind was pre-occupied, something tells him that he needs to act.

“Scotty, I need to see you once more for the case, just to check all the data in the file. Let me know when you can come in to the office.” He knows it’s a lie, but he can’t do the personal thing, it’s just impossible. He does the work thing, and it has to work this time too. He adds his letter ending with his name and the word ‘lawyer’ in big letters, followed by telephone numbers and visiting information.

The mail suddenly looks very intimidating, and he erases it again, just ending the mail with his name. He pushes send before he has time to change his mind. For several minutes he just sits and stares at his inbox, hoping for the ding noise and reloading of the page to see the new mail. But Scotty doesn’t reply right away. And why should he, really? It’s in the middle of the afternoon, and he is probably working. Or doing the father thing.

Kevin leans back in his chair and curses himself for this obsession, as Sarah calls it, that he’s trapped with. He never knew that parenthood would allure him, and especially not in this way. He doesn’t know what it is, but there is something about Scotty Wandell that just makes him impossible to get out of his mind. The computer makes a small noise and the inbox reloads.

Family, Part 2 / 5+

Rate: PG
Disclaimer: Just borrowing.
Summary: Scotty offers a surprise when meeting Kevin.
Thanks to: Sueli for beta-ing.

The Walker family gather around Scotty and his son like flies in jam, not allowing Kevin to even one word in private. He knows exactly what that word would be, too: "How?"

Instead Kevin tries to mingle with his siblings and the other friends his mother has gathered, not managing to devote himself to it as his eyes constantly searches for Scotty.

Just a few hours ago, Scotty was that quite annoying witness in a case, the guy who was alluring him in a way he had never experienced before. Now Scotty was a father, but still gay as the day is long and if possible alluring Kevin even more, and definitely in a way he has never experienced before.

He sees Scotty talking to Julia by the pool where Cooper and Jeremy are throwing a beach ball around. He nods to Mrs. Anderson and excuses himself. He approaches Julia and Scotty slowly, and Julia seems to excuse herself. When he reaches Scotty they are finally alone.

They look at each other in awkward silence before Kevin says, "It's a pretty name."
Scotty looks at him for a few seconds before understanding what he's getting at.
"Oh, right," He nods. "I like it a lot. I didn't decide it, thankfully. My mother would have managed to make it our family name: Walther, commonly known as Wally or dad."

"There's a Wally Wandell?" Kevin asks with the laughter in his throat. Scotty nods, him too not far from the laughter.
"You're close with your parents?" Kevin asks.
"Not really..." Scotty says. "Sorry, I..." He says before excusing himself to stop Jeremy and Cooper from throwing food in the pool. Kevin sees Sarah run from across the lawn to do the same thing.

It takes Kevin three more conversation attempts to ask Scotty out to something other than a family gathering, ending up with a play date on Sunday, in the park.


Kevin is on a bench by the park ten minutes too early, and just as if he's prepared to take a walk to avoid looking like a lone man by the playgrounds, Scotty and Jeremy show up. Jeremy runs straight to the grounds where some children are already playing.

"He loves it here," Scotty says when greeting Kevin.
"Me too. I should really be outside more... and breathe," Kevin says.
"I'm glad you decided to come, this meeting grown up people isn't really in my area of expertise these days," Scotty says in an excusing voice.

"Mine neither," Kevin says, matter-of-factly. "But I have no excuse, really. How old is he again?" Kevin asks, not sure he's even heard it in the first place.
"Five." Scotty replies, feeling himself relax a bit. He keeps a protective eye on Jeremy when he turns to Kevin.

"I guess I should explain all this before we get to know each other. It will save time," He says.
Kevin nods in surprise, not knowing what to say when Scotty is so straight forward. Yes, he desperately wants to know, but being the lawyer he is, he thought he would have to do some kind of cross-examination with trick questions to get anything out of Scotty.

"If you wanna tell me..." Kevin stutters.
Scotty looks back at Jeremy, seeing him on the swings, talking to some other kid. He is so glad Jeremy has turned out to be so social and easy with other kids, it's not like he's had the best choice ever.

Scotty takes a deep breath before starting to tell.
"I grew up in this small town, Oxford in Mississippi. Only child, mom active in the church..." Scotty's voice fades out. "I came out to them when I was 16, and that was like... my mom interpreted it as she had to work harder on finding me a nice girl. I was all alone..."

Kevin doesn't dare to look at his side to Scotty. His eyes are fixed on the clique of children running around, kind of wondering how parents can keep track of which is theirs.

"... and I kind of started dating this girl, Megan. She was really nice and I liked her a lot. Just not in that way. I tried to force myself to liking her, and we eventually did that thing that can lead to..." Scotty gestures at the playgrounds. "And it did. Ironic isn't it? I had to think of guys and we just barely managed, and yet, this wonderful person came out of it."

The both of them stay quiet for a while, Scotty to let the information sink in with Kevin, and Kevin because he doesn't want to pressure Scotty to any more. Something in the way Scotty tells his story shows that he hasn't told this many times before. Kevin feels a sudden urge to put his hand on Scotty's, but he doesn't really dare.

Scotty used to be that flirty kind of annoying witness in his office, and Kevin would have known how to flirt back with him here on neutral grounds, but now that Scotty is a parent, he has no idea how to communicate.

"She decided to keep the child and our parents decided we should live together and get married," Scotty stifles a sob. "We were going to get married after the birth, against both our wishes. We liked each other and she knew about me. We could kind of imagine living together, knowing that we would never have a real romantic relationship together."

"Anyway, she didn't want to get married pregnant, so it was all planned to a month after..." Scotty wipes his face and takes a deep breath. "The birth was very complicated... she didn't make it."

Scotty wipes his face with his sleeve again and Kevin moves a bit closer, reaching his hand out to softly stroke Scotty's thigh. Scotty turns to him, and in a low voice he says, "Thank you. If we were somewhere else I'd take your hand."

"I'm glad you told me," Kevin says. He offers to get them all ice creams and Scotty happily accepts, glad they can change the subject. They take Jeremy to a nearby kiosk and sit in the grass talking about school and sports.

Scotty laughs when Jeremy tries to explain the rules of rugby to a dumbfounded Kevin. When they go separate ways a few hours later, Kevin feel much more at ease then he has been lately, especially after anything resembling a date.

He gets home and sits down on the couch. He kicks off his shoes and falls asleep just minutes later. He wakes up from deep sleep three hours later and decides to go out and get some groceries to make himself some dinner.

When returning back to the apartment he sees the answering machine blink to tell him there is a new message. He presses the button to play it.
"You have one new message: Hi Kevin, it's me." Kevin starts smiling when he hears Scotty's voice. He feels a little tingling in his stomach and sits down on the chair by the desk to listen to the message.

"Thank for today, it was very nice. The thing is..." Scotty makes a pause and takes a very loud breath. "I have to focus on Jeremy and stuff now. I'm so sorry. I don't think we should see each other anymore."

Family Part 1 / 5+

Rate: PG
Disclaimer: Just borrowing.
Summary: Scotty offers a surprise when meeting Kevin.
Thanks to: Sueli for beta-ing.

Kevin splashed his face with water, looking up at his reflection in the mirror, staring at the man looking back at him.
"You're pathetic," he says to himself, glad he has the office restrooms all to himself.

"He's almost ten years younger than you and much too good-looking, don't get any ideas," he says. He stands up and takes a deep breath. Sarah is waiting in his office, probably indiscreetly looking through his calender, just to keep track. She claims it's her duty as big sister to know what he's doing, and he can't use any argument against her when she pulls the big sister one.

"I see you have another date with the guy with the good taste," Sarah says, sitting on his chair with one finger in his calender. She looks down on it. "Tomorrow."
"Get lost," he says, waving her away from the chair. "Speak!" He orders.


Kevin again splashes his face with cold water. He doesn't usually have to do this after meeting with his clients, but this one had been particularily difficult. Not only had Scotty Wandell been incredibly attractive during their session, he had also gotten invited to the family pool party tonight, since Sarah had just happened to swing by his office just when he was here today. Such a coincidence.

He splashes more water onto his face, this time managing to wet his shirt, looking like he had experienced trouble drinking. He sighs heavily and wonders how his family will interrogate and frighten Scotty while at the same time embarrass Kevin.

It's not like it's a date, and Scotty won't even be there as his guest but as Sarah's, but everyone will know that Sarah lured him there as both revenge for the Tommy fight and for him to flirt with. If he only could... Scotty is incredibly charming, but for another two weeks or so, he will be a witness, and after then he'll just become the regular out-of-his-league kind of guy.

One more splash and Kevin might be able to work for a couple of more hours without interruptions. This is, of course, before he returns to the office and finds the Mangopean case file on his desk, with a photo copy of Scotty's ID card on top, keeping him glued there for over half an hour.


"Kevin!" Nora calls when Kevin enters the kitchen. "I'm so glad you're here. You can help me with this. She hands him two mangos and a knife. "Cube it," she orders. Kevin shares a look with Julia, working on a dozen peaches next to him.

"Tell me about your guest!" Nora then says, quickly working with the rest of the food.
"He's not my guest, mom," Kevin whines. "He's Sarah's guest. I don't even like him. He's..." Julia and Nora looks at him. "Obnoxious," He finishes.

Nora and Julia smile at each other before continuing to their respective choppings.
"Okay. Tell us about Sarah's guest that you have met," Nora corrects.
"Not much to tell, barely know him," Kevin says, putting his neatly cut cubes in a bowl Nora has placed next to him.

"But he's playing on your team, right?" Julia asks.
"Much more than I am," Kevin says. "He practically accused me of being closeted!" He says, sounding just as offended as he still feels.
"Oh honey, I'm sure he didn't mean any harm. He sounds like a lovely boy from what Sarah has said. You should get to know him better, Kev," Nora suggests.

"Thank you mom," Kevin says sharply, hoping his mother won't continue on to discussing proper ‘protection' with him like she had done prior to every date she had ever heard about him having.

"Here, done," Kevin says. "Now if you excuse me, I will go bicker with my big sister."
"Which one?" Nora asks him on his way out of the kitchen.
"Either," Kevin calls over his shoulder.


Kevin will never admit it, but he is on needles and pins for an hour after the party visitors have started collecting to when the door bell rings after he's seen Scotty's car park outside the house. He practically knocks Tommy in the head from behind to beat him to the door, opening it to find a smiling Scotty on the other side, holding up a plate with beautiful cupcakes on it.

"Hi!" Kevin says. "Welcome..." His greeting becomes a mumbling when he sees the small person standing next to Scotty. "Who...?"
"This is Jeremy, my son," Scotty says, ruffling the blonde hair on the boy's head. "Sarah said I could bring him."

Kevin doesn't know what to reply, but if he could, it would be something to explain the most amount of surprise any person has ever experienced. Scotty sees this and looks rather entertained.
"And these are some red velvet cupcakes that we baked earlier today. My own recipe," Scotty says, handing the plate to Kevin.

Kevin takes the plate and moves out of the way, to leave room to enter the house.
"Scotty!" Sarah says, arriving from the dining room. "This must be Jeremy. Let's go meet Paige and Cooper," she says, ushering Scotty and his son to the garden. She puts her hand on Kevin's shoulder and leans close to him.

"Close your mouth honey, you're drooling," she says and leaves.
"He... has... a... child," Kevin stutters before managing to close the door and follow Sarah to the garden. "A child," he repeats when he sees Scotty's back by the pool.


Rate: PG
Disclaimer: Just borrowing.
Summary: Married life, takes place during season three.

"What's this?" Scotty asks, leaning over the big plastic bag Kevin put on the floor when he entered the loft.
"Some new pillows," Kevin answers casually.
"You're really on a shopping spree, aren't you?" Scotty asks, peeking at the colorful fabrics of the new pillows.

"Well, you know. I haven't really put that much time and effort into making this place look decent lately, and now that you're here..." Kevin says, not finishing the sentence. He didn't really know if he would be able to tell Scotty that it was because of him that he suddenly felt the need to buy new stuff throw out old stuff and clean the whole place.

"That's nice," Scotty says. "I know I can't shop because I have no money, but I like new things. Too much." He squeezes the pillow Kevin hands to him. "When I have money I tend to find and buy stuff I don't need."
"You?" Kevin asks, entertained. "The most practical man walking on the face of Earth?" He gives Scotty a kiss on the cheek. "I can't believe it."

It's only been two weeks since the lobster and the whole Jason story and it wasn't until a few days ago that Scotty decided he would stay in the apartment. He hadn't thought it would be a good idea to start a new relationship with Kevin living with him, but being the practical man he is, he knows he can't afford anything else, and he knows that they have both grown, relationship wise.

"I love this one," Scotty says, holding up a blue pillow with some shiny green fabric on it. "Where will these live? There are already many pillows both here and in the bed. We need room for us, you know."
"Maybe we should throw some old ones out. This has seen better days," Kevin says, holding up a plain green one from the couch.

"Do I dare suggest moving Liza? You don't let me use her to sleep on anyway," Scotty says.
"Move?" Kevin asks.
"To more of a place of display, like the window?" Scotty suggests, knowing that the subject of Liza is thin ice.

"I don't know. I like having her here," Kevin says. Scotty smiles behind Kevin's back. Kevin is if anything practical and concrete. The fact that he refers to a pillow as her instead of it is remarkable.

"Maybe we should get new pillows and duvets for the bed as well," Kevin says. "And some new kitchen equipment. The stuff I have now is what mom gave me when I moved away from home. We need some new stuff for your cooking. Better stuff," Kevin finishes and sits down on the couch, leaning against the mountain of new pillows, as if to see if they are good enough.

"I'll take you shopping tomorrow, honey," he says and gives Scotty another kiss on the cheek before leaving for the bedroom.
"Sure, I'd love to," Scotty says when Kevin leaves. "I'd love to go on a nesting shopping trip," he adds, quietly.

"What?" Kevin asks from the bedroom.
"I'll make some pasta," Scotty calls back, chuckling to himself as he enters the kitchen.

Music fic: Feels like heaven

Rate: PG
Disclaimer: Just borrowing.
Summary: I never knew this song could fit so well to anything.

Kevin has never been comfortable dancing. His first dancing experiences had been with Sarah and Kitty at family events, and they had been incredibly embarrassing and awkward. When he had danced with girls at parties when he went to class discos in high school it had felt strange, and he had faked bathroom visits and injuries to get out of it.

His first serious long-term boyfriend Hank had teased him about his two left-feet, now aware that Kevin was faking that too, to get out of dancing. It didn't matter where it was, at an upbeat club, at a nice jazz place or just at home.

After two dates with Scotty, Kevin had been tricked into a slow dance in the middle of a crowded club. That was years ago, and that particular date isn't what Kevin thinks about all the time.

Kevin rests his head on Scotty's shoulder and follows in the slow motion his husbands leads him in. The soft synth tones is like a mattress around them, and neither of them notice if any of the other club visitors is watching them. Kevin tightens his arms around Scotty's neck and closes his eyes. Feels like heaven.

Short and random: Nick

Rate: PG
Disclaimer: Just borrowing.
Summary: I was inspired months ago to do this, and now it's done.

Thanks to: Sueli for beta-ing.

Kevin doesn't know how to handle this situation. The teacher gathered the class around a plastic model of a brain and Nick Holloway, the most popular guy in the class, is standing right behind Kevin and from what Kevin can tell, Nick's very excited to see that plastic brain.

The teacher takes it apart and talks about it, but Kevin doesn't hear a word. Nick moves a bit behind him before settling into a position closer to Kevin.

Kevin's brain screams ‘NO!' and yet, there is something about the whole experience that triggers his teenage boy's dirty mind. He can feel another boy's hardness against his ass, and the warmth from the touch arouses him.

Little does Kevin know that it's this experience that will play over and over in his head for months before finally having the courage to sneak off to the library, looking up a book titled "Homosexuality in the 1970-1980s". Little does he know that this is the event to start the chaos that will fill his body for many years ahead.

Nick moves a bit more and a faint smile curls around Kevin's mouth. Kevin doesn't see it, but Nick smiles too, moving even closer.

Music fic: Underneath your clothes

Rate: PG
Disclaimer: Just borrowing.
Summary: It's both music and short. I'm confused. Most of all: it's not the best of songs, but it was randomed.

"How did we end up here?" Kevin half-screams into Scotty's ear. Scotty laughs in reply, putting his arms around Kevin, swinging them around to the music. Kevin looks around and realizes that by walking into this club he upped the average age by at least 10 years.

Around them many young pares are dancing and kissing. Kevin resigns and lets Scotty bring him into the rhythm, swaying along in the darkness, with smoke and brightly colored lights around them.

The beers they drank at the previous club have now left a leisured feeling with them, making it easy to blend with the dancers in the multicolored smoke clouds.

Scotty's lips find Kevin's, pressing them against each other. Kevin replies, uncomfortable at first but more eager when feeling the warm breath from his husband.

Scotty's lips move away from Kevin's, whispering:

"I remember this song from this one time. I danced with the hottest guy to this."

Kevin bends his head back to look at Scotty, his eyes filled with envy. He sees Scotty's impish face and laughs, leaning in to press a kiss on Scotty's cheek.

"You tease." He whispers back.

"You ain't seen nothing yet." Scotty smilingly replies.

Gayme night

Rate: PG
Disclaimer: Just borrowing.
Summary: Scotty should attend a Game Night. The Jonses return.

"Your mother just made me impersonate Jack Nicholson, doing ‘The Shining' in Charade." Scotty says as he enters the kitchen. Kevin and Justin smile at him, Kevin embarrassed beyond reason. Scotty walks by and gives Kevin a small peck on the cheek. He pours himself a new glass of wine and jumps up on the counter next to Kevin.

"How did you get out of this?" Scotty asks Justin.

"We were one more than them, as our family manages to reproduce every year." Justin says. He isn't too fond of the Joneses, but he appreciates that they are strict when it comes to rules, so that he managed to get out of the initial game.

"You did this how many years?" Scotty asks, drinking some wine.

"Too many." Kevin says, taking the glass from Scotty, having a drink himself.

"Don't ask." Justin says simultaneously. "Nothing good can ever come out of this. Just because one of the Joneses set off mom we have to do this again. At least you get to be drunk."

"Kevin! Scotty!" Nora says when she enters the kitchen. Something in her voice tells them she isn't just acknowledging their presence, but also criticizing them for not being somewhere kicking asses in a family game of Trivial Pursuit.

"I need you in the living room right now. That Donna and her partner think they are the best gay couple in Game Night, so I cannot have you two hiding here." Nora says, ushering them towards the living room. Kevin and Scotty exchange looks, not sure how they are going to score points by being gayer.

Kevin takes Scotty's hand when they enter the room where excited Joneses and embarrassed Walkers are all collecting for the final round of Trivia.

"Am I the only one holding up the fort here?" Sarah asks. "I just had to face both Miranda and Samantha in scrabble, because the helping Walker didn't show." She hisses between clenched teeth.

"I don't get how they managed to spell out ‘expatriate' there, it's just not fair." She says.

"So we lost that game too?" Rebecca asks. "Nora is going to be so disappointed if we don't win this."

"So?" Justin asks, sneaking into the room and choosing a spot to sit where Nora might not see him too well. "Maybe this can finally be the end of this pseudo-tradition."

"Have you met our mother?" Kitty asks. "She wouldn't even let me leave to feed Evan, I had to sit in the middle of Charade and try to get a baby to take a nap."

"Let's just try and get through this as painless as possible." Sarah says. She looks at Kevin and Scotty standing before all the people in the room, holding hands, looking very confused and very goofy. "You two want to join us?" She asks.

"No," Kevin whispers. "We're being gay."

"What?" Sarah asks, frowning. Nora emerges from the kitchen, holding a big basket of newly bakes cinnamon buns in her arms.

"I thought we could need something sweet for the final game." She says.

"Nora, I hope you don't think you will get bonus points for baking." Miranda Jones chimes as she takes a bun. Lizzie loudly declares that she is on a strict diet that forbids her to eat cinnamon and Sarah manages to overpower Kitty before she mumbles something lethal.

"Kevin, Scotty," Nora says, turning to them with the basket when all the Joneses are fed. "Aren't you lovely? They just celebrated their anniversary a few weeks ago." Nora says, turned back to the competing team. "They are so happy. Here, have a bun and sit down." They take each a bun and sit down. The entire Walker side of the room look utterly embarrassed and are happy when Saul stands up before them all to introduce the final round of their game night.

An hour later the Walkers have managed to snatch the lead back from the Jones family, with Scotty answering questions about advanced cooking and Justin about medicine.

"Okay Walkers, last question. If you answer this one right, you win the game." Saul announces. "Which city is the capital of Mississippi?"

"I know this!" Kitty screams, standing up so rapidly Evan wakes up in her arms. "It's Jackson!"

"No!" Sarah says. "It's Montgomery, I was there on business!"

"Actually, it's Atlanta." Someone chimes in, and suddenly the game is in full force again.

What if...? Part 5/5 (?)

Rate: PG
Disclaimer: Just borrowing.
Summary: In an alternate universe, maybe things would be different. 

Word count: 1784

Thanks to: Sueli for beta-ing.

Nora nearly dropped the bowl she had been holding, Justin's drink came out of his nose and Sarah hit her foot on the counter from the surprise.

"What?" Kitty asks. Her voice is thin, not believing what she's hearing.

"I'm gay." Kevin repeats.

"But... Molly?" Tommy asks.

"Yeah, I've spoken with her. We broke up." Kevin says.

After a two hour long pep talk from Scotty, Kevin had finally found the courage to go to Nora's. He'd collected all his siblings and broken the news to the second they had all gathered around the counter in the kitchen.

"I know this is a shock to all of you, but to me it's so liberating." Kevin confesses.

"Oh honey!" Nora says, hurrying over to hug her son. When they let go Sarah hugs Kevin.

"I'm so happy for you." She whispers in his ear.

Justin hits his shoulder and smiles, and Kevin knows that it's enough. That's what he does, his sign of acceptance. Kevin smiles in reply.

"Yeah, I'm happy for you too, man." Tommy says, his voice still a bit strained from the shock. "It doesn't change anything." He continues, Kevin not sure if he's trying to convince himself or Kevin.

"But you're... an adult. How did you not know before?" Kitty asks, staring at him from across the counter.

"I don't know. Saul didn't know until he was in his 50's." Kevin replies casually. He's not surprised that Kitty is the last one to swallow this, she needs facts and information before she can make a decision, and he respects her for that.

"But he wasn't engaged to a woman."

"For five hours, Kits." Kevin says. "It's not that simple. It's not just about knowing for yourself, if you don't feel that there is a possibility for you to be yourself, you will suppress yourself without even knowing it."

"I shouldn't have asked." Kitty says. She walks around the counter and puts her arms around him. "You are always my little brother."

"This was easier than I thought." Kevin says, knowing that it isn't over yet. It's one thing for them to know, it's a whole other one when his decision to come out becomes reality - when he brings someone home or would be in a relationship with another man.


The dinner proceeds without any fuzz, with Sarah giving Kevin all the hugs she can and Tommy still looking a bit distant. They all promise not to spread the information to everyone they know, but Kevin knows that such a promise just means they will delay it a day or two.

When returning back to Scotty's apartment it feels strange to approach the door. The hallway is dark and he has to push a button to light the few lamps along the corridor. The one right outside Scotty's door blinks a few times before deciding not to light up at all. In darkness Kevin knocks on the door, quietly as if to apologize for his action.

Scotty opens and lets him in, apparently anxious to hear how it all went.

"It was just a tad too easy." Kevin explains when they sit down with each a sandwich and some tea. "Like I had expected someone to tell me it's just a phase or saying something like ‘but you're so tall'. This was over in minutes."

"Not all families send you to the door." Scotty says, quietly. Kevin looks at him, as Scotty holds his cup with both hands. He looks into it and takes a sip. He can't see Scotty's eyes, but he notices the tension and suddenly he realizes that he knows nothing about Scotty's family situation.

"Is that why you live here?" Kevin ask.

"I grew up in Mississippi. I came out when I was 17 and moved to New York when I was 18. That was how long it lasted. When I..." Scotty's voice trails out, as if he suddenly doesn't know if she wants to tell the rest of the story.

Kevin meets his eyes and with a compassionate smile urges him to continue.

"When I was 19 I decided to go back to visit and when I knocked on the door someone else opened. They had moved to Arizona and hadn't even told me." Scotty says.

"I moved here shortly after and later resumed the contact. I speak with my dad once a month now, but rarely with my mum." Scotty says. "It's okay, though. I know that's it and I'm not wasting my energy crying or being angry at them. It doesn't help."

"I didn't know." Kevin says, sincerely sad. "I've just been going on about myself without every asking about you."

"I don't talk about it a lot." Scotty says, moving over from the chair he's sitting on to sit next to Scotty on the couch. "Don't worry about it. I don't." He gives Kevin a hesitant kiss and then pulls away.

"It's so strange to kiss you from everyone else I've ever kissed." Kevin says, his head still tilted from replying to the kiss. "I never knew it would... tingle as much as it does." At the same time as they words come out he also notices how stupid it sounds, and starts laughing.

Scotty puts his hand on Kevin's neck and leans in a bit.

"I like you too." He says, giving Kevin another kiss. Kevin replies instantly, moving closer to Scotty. His hands travel over Scotty's lap, resting on his hips. Scotty moves a bit, leaning over Kevin to lie down over him on the couch.

Their kisses get deeper and their hands move over never explored skin. Scotty kisses his way down to Kevin's neck, licking his collar bone and kissing his way back up to Kevin's ear. He sucks gently on the earlobe and moves against Kevin, feeling how aroused they both have gotten.

Suddenly Kevin withdraws his hands from Scotty's back.

"I'm sorry..." He says. Scotty stops the kissing and moves off.

"Don't be." He says.

"No, it's just, I want to, but it's too soon. For us and for me."

"I know. I don't want to pressure you, and honestly, if someone had asked me if I was willing to start something with a guy in the middle of his coming out process, I would have said no, but I really like you." Scotty says, stroking Kevin's cheek. "I can't help but." He leans forward and presses a small kiss on Kevin's cheek. "I don't mind waiting."

"I don't want to hold you back." Kevin says. "But I'm happy if what you said now is true, because I want it to be you that's waiting for me."

They glance at each other in embarrassment over their cheesy confirmations, but are also glad that tensions are relieving between them. They both break into laughter and finish with a kiss.

"I also think it would be good for me to live with mom for a while, to give us some space. Until I can move back to my loft. Or find a new one, for that matter."

Scotty agrees with Kevin's reasoning, happily volunteering to help apartment hunting if needed.


Epilogue - six months later

Kevin rushes into his mother's kitchen, barely noticing the lovely smell of newly baked cinnamon buns that's originating from the oven.

"Hi mom, uncle Saul said you needed this." Kevin says, kissing his mother on the cheek and putting a canvas bag filled with a clay pot in it.

"He and Milo says it was the best duck they had ever eaten. And Scotty liked it a lot too." Kevin says almost out of breath and turns around to rush out of the kitchen again.

"Hold it!" Nora calls after him. "You can't just tease me, how did your double date dinner go? Other than the food." Nora asks, continuing to stir something in a bowl.

"It was great, we had a good time. Scotty and Milo are both very into cooking so they spent the entire night swapping recipes, leaving me and Saul to comment on the wine." Kevin explains with a smile.

Nora smiles too. She reaches under a towel and takes out a cinnamon bun and hands it to Kevin.

"Eat this." She puts some more in a plastic box and puts a lid on it. "Bring these to Scotty and send him my love. Are you seeing him today?"

"Yes, I'm already late to meet him, we're going to look at an apartment downtown." Kevin says and munches on his bun.

"You're moving in together?" Nora asks startled.

"No, of course not." Kevin says, wrinkling his eyebrows. "He'll just help me decide on getting this or another place we looked at yesterday. That one has a fireplace but this one has hardwood floors."

Nora glances up at her son from under her fringe. She never knew he was gay, but the talk about interior decorating should have tipped her off years ago. There is a loud thud from outside and Kevin looks out.

"What was that?" He asks, walking over to the kitchen.

"Nothing. I'm just fixing some stuff in the garden."

Kevin sees a big machine removing a tree with all its roots being drawn from the ground.

"Some stuff?" Kevin asks.

"Yes, just some minor demolition.  I'm putting in a pool. Feel free to use it when it's done." Nora says, opening the stove to take out another batch of cinnamon buns.

"I also hope Saul will want to use it." Nora says, focusing on the buns. "He and Milo should use this house more, otherwise it will just fall apart." She breaks a bun in half and inspects the dough.

"You're putting in a pool? That's minor demolition?" Kevin asks. He glances at the construction workers outside. "You're removing the fountain?" He asks quietly.

"Yes. That thing has been staring me in the eye ever since your father died." Nora says, her voice determined.

Kevin will never forget Kitty's birthday where William had taken Paige for a walk in the garden and then fallen down from a heart attack, hitting his head on the fountain and dying. The autopsy had shown that he died from the head injury but they never knew if he had died from the heart attack if he hadn't hit his head. 

Kevin shakes his head to get rid of the thought that had been spinning in his head for months. "I have to leave mom, Scotty is waiting." Kevin points at the door, not sure his mother is even noticing his presence anymore.

She hears the door close behind him and calls: "Bye honey!" Not looking up from her cinnamon bun project.

This is probably the last part. My head has been otherwise occupied lately, so I have a hard time seeing loose ends. If there are further questions or SL developments you'd like to see, tell me (you know - here, at the B&S-TV forum or via olego.fics@gmail.com).

What if...? Part 4/?

Rate: PG
Disclaimer: Just borrowing.
Summary: In an alternate universe, maybe things would be different. 

Word count: 1187

Thanks to: Sueli for beta-ing. 

Scotty hands Kevin a cup of hot coffee. Kevin accepts it with a shy smile.

"So, tell me everything." Scotty says, sitting down on the couch. Kevin stares at him, hugging the hot cup between his hands before deciding to sit down next to Scotty.

"I don't know where to start." He says.

"Have you spoken with your family?" Scotty asks. He figures that if he gets Kevin started he will rant on until he's said everything.

"No, I've been avoiding them. I should get a medal for that, they're like heat seeking missiles, all after me.

"So where have you been?"

"Everywhere. I've been driving around, sitting on benches, walking on the beach. Everywhere to be alone and think." Kevin takes a sip of coffee. "And I met with Molly just now."

Scotty doesn't ask. He doesn't want to ask a question that will lead Kevin to change his perception of what happened. He waits for a while before Kevin continues.

"She said she kind of saw it coming. That she knew that we wouldn't actually get married, but when I had asked she had been to happy and thought she had been wrong about me."

"She said that she hates me for doing this to her and that she's happy for me for finally..." Kevin's voice trails off. He looks at Scotty for a second, but turns away to avoid eye contact. "I told her there was someone else."

"There is?" Scotty asks, his voice sounding just as surprised as he feels.

"No." Kevin quietly says. "Or maybe."

"I just know that she's not the one." Kevin states. "I've spent a lot of time thinking." Kevin sips from his coffee again. It's still too hot, but that doesn't seem to matter. He swallows and puts the cup down. "Scotty, I'm..." Kevin exhales and closes his eyes.

"This is so hard. I'm 33 years old and I can't even say it." Kevin's voice is back to fragile and thin. Scotty moves closer, extending his arm to supportively stroke Kevin's back. Kevin looks up again and turns to Scotty. "Scotty, I'm gay."

Scotty smiles and hugs Kevin.

"I said it." Kevin says, his voice a mix between sobbing and laughing.

"Yes, you did." Scotty laughs back. "How do you feel?"

"Awful. Relieved." Kevin says, hugging Scotty tighter. "Scared."

"It would be strange if you weren't." Scotty says. "But it's okay. Everyone is scared, gay or straight, just scared of different things." He lets go of Kevin a bit, and Kevin reluctantly lets him go.

"Yeah I guess. Now there is so much I need to do. Molly will move out of our apartment, but not for another few weeks until she gets a place of her own, so I'm still homeless. I have to explain all of this to my family and... come out, I guess."

"Sh..." Scotty hushes him. "You don't need to think of that now. You can let all that wait a while and be with yourself."

"And sleep in my car?" Kevin asks.

"Glad to see your sarcasm is back." Scotty replies. "You can sleep here for a while, if you want. It's not roomy, but it's... doable."

Kevin smiles shyly and nods.

"Thank you." He says. "You know, this is all because of you."

"Of me?" Scotty asks, startled over the accusation.

"That first time you were in my office, when you asked if I were gay. That's what started this whole thing."

"The thought hasn't crossed your mind until then?" Scotty asks.

"Not really. When I think about it now, it's obvious. The only sport I've only ever enjoyed is swimming and all girlfriends I've ever had has always told me I'm such a special boyfriend because I like shopping with them."

Scotty laughs and brings Kevin with him.

"I guess I did experiment some i college, but everyone did." Kevin says. "It didn't matter. It was just a kiss."

"Really?" Scotty asks, noticing how his lips form a smile when he speaks.

"Yes. He was really sweet. Danny McCullough. We only hung out because his sister Abigail and my sister Kitty were friends, we didn't have anything in common." 

"Well, then, better late than never. Congrats, Kevin. Congrats on your first coming out." Scotty says. "I wish they made books for this, but I think you'll have to settle for finding out yourself."

"I will." Kevin says. "I know I will." He nods.

The room is again silent. Kevin drinks the last of his coffee, frowning at it because it's too cold. Scotty watches Kevin put the cup back down.

"Okay." He says slowly, not sure what to do next.

"Okay." Kevin repeats. He swallows loudly and leans over to Scotty, pressing his lips against Scotty's.

He lets them linger there for just a second, enough to feel Scotty vaguely responding, or at least not pulling away. They part slowly, feeling each other's breath against their mouths.

"Sorry." Kevin says. "I shouldn't have. I have no right to come here and demand you being some kind of mentor for me and then to do this..."

"Kevin, stop talking." Scotty interrupts.

Scotty leans back over, cups Kevin's face in his hands and kisses his mouth again. Slow, tender and careful. Their lips move against each other for a while before parting again.

"Wow." Kevin says when he has regained his breath. "That was definitely better than Danny McCullough."

Scotty laughs and gives Kevin another peck on the mouth.

"It better be." He says.

They spend the evening eating take out pizza and watching Glitter "I know all gays doesn't have to be party animals, but if you don't watch this, you'll slide back to straight in no time." and kissing some more.

They decide to take things very slowly and have time to get used to each other. Kevin calls Nora and lets her know that he is doing well and will see her for lunch tomorrow. He turns off his cell phone after the call, knowing that the entire family will want a word in when they know he's contacted Nora.

"Let me take you out to dinner tomorrow night." Kevin says, stroking a strand of hair away from Scotty's face.

"You really want that? Dinner in the outside world?" Scotty asks rolling his eyes.

"Of course." He kisses Scotty's cheek. "How did you get to be so cute?"

"I was born this way. What's your excuse?" Scotty replies.

"I was probably born this way too. It just took a long time to bloom." Kevin replies, blushing at the compliment. "Again thanks for everything. Being here with you makes it feel like I can actually handle all these things that I need to fix." Kevin says. Scotty merely smiles in reply, forgetting his previous thoughts about just being friends.

The moment Kevin's blue eyes had looked into his he knew he was lost. He knew that he needed to help Kevin through all this, not just for Kevin, but for himself. Kevin's vulnerability in combination with his sweet and strong attitude was way too intriguing to keep at a distance.

One or two more chapters will follow shortly. Please leave me a comment to tell me what you think. :)

What if...? Part 3/?

Rate: PG
Disclaimer: Just borrowing.
Summary: In an alternate universe, maybe things would be different. 

Word count: 984

Thanks to: Sueli och Jenni for beta-ing. 

Scotty wakes up at nine o'clock on a bright Sunday morning. His back is aching because he's spend the last couple of hours sleeping on his couch, leaning against the back support with Kevin leaning against him.

Kevin wakes up at the same time and slowly moves away from Scotty.

"I'm sorry." He quietly says.

"For what?" Scotty asks.

"For barging in to a complete stranger to behave like this." Kevin says. "I really shouldn't have."

Kevin stands up. He takes his jacket from the chair he flung it over yesterday and moves to the front door.

"You don't want breakfast? And an aspirin or two?" Scotty asks, standing up as well.

"I really shouldn't have bothered you. Bye."

Kevin is out of the door so quickly, Scotty is barely awake when it happens. He sits back down, blinking a few times to try and sort out what just happened. Kevin has passed out against his chest last night after having sobbed for over half an hour, his arms around Scotty so tight it seemed like he would never let go. Now he excuses himself to leave. To go where?

Scotty fetches his laptop and turns it on. He makes himself a cup of coffee while waiting for it to turn on, and then he writes an e-mail to Sarah, asking her out for a cup of coffee or a lunch. She replies with a text only an hour later and they make plans for lunch later today.


When finally there with Sarah, working on a Caesar salad opposite of her, it's difficult for Scotty to bring up Kevin for discussion. He asks Sarah what happened with the engagement.

"If I only knew." She says. "Kevin and Molly showed up for dinner last Friday and announced the whole thing, an hour after they have arrived they disappear out into the garden. Then Molly storms into the kitchen, saying the wedding is off and that she needs to leave."

"She left in a cab and Kevin left shortly after. Neither of them pick up their phones. If I know mom right she has already visited their loft to see what is going on. That's all I know." Sarah finishes.

"Wow." Scotty says.

"What do you know?" Sarah asks. Scotty replies with a questioning look.

"You brought it up."

"Yeah." Scotty admits. "Kevin showed up at my door last night, drunk." Scotty tells Sarah what happened, trying to give an objective view of the situation.

"It's just so strange," Scotty says. "The first time I met him I just knew he was gay, and now all this happens. You have a gay uncle, I don't understand why he should suppress those feelings if he has any. Your whole family seem to love your uncle."

"We do." Sarah says. "But Kevin is the good boy. When we were growing up Tommy was the sloppy one who refused to study and Justin was even worse, with his drugs and alcohol and all the women. Kevin went to law school and behaved."

"Because he had to compromise for the others?" Scotty fills in.

"To carry on the family name." Sarah finishes her own salad and puts the wrinkled napkin on top. 

"Sarah?" Scotty asks. "Why didn't you seem surprised when I said I thought Kevin was gay?"

Sarah's eyes meet Scotty's. Her face is blank, as if she's thinking.

"I don't know. I guess I'm not surprised. I haven't thought about it myself, but it wouldn't be that surprising." Sarah says. "Actually, it would make perfect sense."

"How?" Scotty asks.

"Well, he has always had a girlfriend, most of them for short periods, and he's always brought them home after a very short time. They have all been very nice and sweet girls and he's always been sure to get them approved by our dad. But he's never seemed that much in love." Sarah says. "I have to go now, I'm picking Paige up from a slumber party."

They rise from the table, ready to leave.

"I'll try and call mom, to see if she knows more. I‘ll let you know if I hear anything."

"Thank you Sarah, for meeting with me. I know I shouldn't butt in on your family matters, but I care about Kevin. There is something about him that reminds me of myself. And I like him." Scotty says.

They part and head their separate directions. Scotty starts his car and starts driving home. The conversation with Sarah echoes in his head. "And I like him." Why did he say that? Will Sarah think he's in love with Kevin? He certainly isn't, even if he wouldn't mind exploring that possibility. Not that it's gonna happen - Scotty has once too many times experienced experimental or newly out guys, and they all have one thing in common - they leave him heart-broken in one way or another.

He likes Kevin because he knows what it's like to be gay, even if Kevin is far away from admitting that or living like that, but he feels some kind of responsibility. That's all it is. The gay family thing, where everyone takes care of each other. Nothing else. He can be a good friend to Kevin if he decides to explore this, but that is all it is.

Scotty parks his car outside his building and heads up the stairs. He walks around the corner to his hallway and outside his door is a small figure, leaning against the wall.

"Kevin?" He asks. Kevin looks up at him, his eyes red and swollen. "Come here." Scotty says, offering his hand to help Kevin stand up.

Kevin comes up and Scotty sees the fear in his eyes. His beautiful blue eyes.

"Do you want coffee?" He asks, fiddling with his keys to open the door.

"And an aspirin or two, if you have any." Kevin says and follows Scotty in.

What if...? Part 2/?

Rate: PG
Disclaimer: Just borrowing.
Summary: In an alternate universe, maybe things would be different. 

Word count: 1102

Thanks to: Sueli och Jenni for beta-ing. 


Kevin is beaming with pride when he watches Molly show the engagement ring to the family. She answers questions about how they will make the wedding and tells everyone that her family is flying in from Seattle next week.


“That’s wonderful!” Nora says. “They can all come over for dinner. Just let me know what night they are free.” The voices blend into cacophony and Kevin suddenly feels dizzy. For several seconds he feels his heart skip a few beats and his breath becoming shallow.


He sees Molly surrounded by his family, all happily chatting about how wonderful it is that they are getting married. Kevin feels his pride disappear and being replaced by fear. It’s Molly for the rest of his life. With his family and with hers. He walks into the kitchen, sees the stools around the counter and sits down.


He hears voices coming from the crowd in the living room and moves into the pantry to avoid them. He leans against the wall and sinks down to the floor, burying his head against his knees.


He hears gentle footsteps across the kitchen and he knows that the person that sinks down opposite of him is his mother.

“Tell me.” She orders in her soft voice.


“I don’t know what to say.” Kevin quietly replies. “Why aren’t I out there celebrating? Why aren’t I opening the champagne we brought?”

“Do you not want to marry her?” Nora asks.

“Of course I do! I love her!” Kevin says. He fiddles with his foot, looking up at his mother.


“I don’t know.” He says. “I can’t imagine my life without her, but at the same time I don’t know how I want to have her in it either. When I saw her there with the ring it all became so real.” He continues.

“Would you rather be friends with her? No marriage, no commitment, no strings attached?” Nora wonders.


“It’s too late.” Kevin says. “This is what I needed to do. Not for me, but for all of us. Everyone knew it was time for us to do this now, you’ve said so yourself.”

“Kevin,” Nora says, taking his hand in hers. “I want you to be happy, and if that means marrying Molly then I want you to. If that means climbing a clock-tower and throwing rocks at people passing by, then so be it.”


“Whatever you do, I want you to want it. If not, I’m not happy.” Nora says. “And it’s never too late, honey. It’s never too late to change your life.” She squeezes Kevin’s hand and smiles at him before getting up. “Go talk to her right now, I’ll distract the family.” 



Scotty wakes up in the middle of the night when someone is pounding on his front door. He swears and manages to get up without hitting himself on anything in the dark apartment.

What?” He shouts and opens the door.


Of all people that could be standing there, Kevin Walker was the last one he would have thought of.

Kevin?” He asks. “What are you doing here?” He lets Kevin in and sends a happy thought to himself for being alone tonight. He can’t walk straight and is obviously not sober. Rather the opposite, actually.


“I’m sorry.” Kevin slurs. “I didn’t know where to go. I remembered your address, so I went here.” He explains and swallows a hiccup. “Did I wake you?”

“It’s over three o’clock, yes you did.” Scotty says. He can’t lie, but he’s already been nice enough to let Kevin in, so why not guilt him a bit?


“Why are you here drunk?” He asks.

“Because I’m homeless.” Kevin says, sitting down on Scotty’s couch. “I was engaged for about five hours and now I’m homeless because my ex-fiancé threw me out.” He announces.

“What? Why? What happened?.” Scotty sympathetically asks, sitting down next to Kevin.


“She was so happy. Sarah helped me pick out a ring, cost me a fortune. They were all so happy. I had barley gotten up from the floor when she and everyone she knows had started planning the ceremony.” Kevin says. He looks tired when he speaks, leaning his head back on the couch.


“Then this thing happened.” Kevin says. “I saw my whole life passing by, and it made me want to cry or scream or just run away. And surprisingly enough, she didn’t think that was good. So now I’m single.”


Scotty looks at the man on his couch. He has no idea what to say or do, still shocked that Kevin would turn up at his door step.

“Why did you come to me? Why not one of your brothers or a friend?” Scotty asks.

“They wouldn’t understand. They are all striving to get married, or they already are.”


Kevin doesn’t want to tell Scotty the truth. The truth that is that whatever Kevin has tried thinking of the last weeks has been interrupted by thoughts about Scotty. That somewhere in his head he knows that Scotty is his savior that will say the magic spell and then everything will be alright. Scotty knows the answer.


“I love Molly, but I can’t see myself marrying her.” Kevin says, and then the room falls in silence. Neither of them speak for several minutes and Scotty starts to wonder if Kevin has passed out from the alcohol.

“Kevin?” He asks.


“Yes?” Come the reply, clearly wide awake.

“Are you gay?” Scotty asks. The room is silent again. Kevin doesn’t reply.

“My uncle is gay.” Kevin says. “He’s one of the most amazing people I know. He’s a brilliant economist, a great man and a wonderful friend. He’s had a partner for several years, Milo.” Kevin speaks in a fragile and monotonous voice.


“He worked with my father for several years.” Kevin continues. “When he came out, my father didn’t speak to him for several months, other than at work. I saw it and it hurt me. I had just started working as a lawyer and Ojai Foods was one of my first clients.” Kevin’s voice becomes more shallow and it sounds like he is about to start crying.


“Kevin…” Scotty says, extending a hand to Kevin’s back. He leans forward to Kevin, stroking the hand over his shoulders. Kevin sobs quietly and then leans over to Scotty, diving into his embrace. He sobs into Scotty’s neck with his arms tightly around Scotty’s waist.


Scotty leans his own head against Kevin’s, gently continuing the stroking as he lets Kevin cry against his shoulder.

“It’ll be alright.” He whispers. “It’s all gonna be alright.”

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